


A latesummer in Amsterdam

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Amsterdam, Dan as a kindergarten teacher, Fluff, Insomnia, Kindergarten Teacher AU, M/M, Max as a young dad, Max is basically living off Redbull energy drinks, it's meant to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2020-02-26 15:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18720010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Dan is a kindergarten teacher, Max is a young father and one could say it is meant to be, but things aren't this easy for the two of them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote for a very dear friend of mine and I hope the rest of you is going to enjoy it as well!

Initially, Dan had come to Amsterdam, the Dutch capital city, as an Au Pair, not planning to stay longer than a year, right after he had graduated. He had found a family from Perth that had immigrated to the Netherlands ten years ago and the Australian had fallen head over heels for their two toddlers, Troye and Liz, whom he had looked after with joy. Moreover, he had soon developed a soft spot for the city, for the absence of cars in its centre, for the sportiness of its people and how everyone took their bikes to get to work or to the supermarket. Daniel had fallen for the flowers and the water, for the small boats that made their way through Amsterdam’s channels and for the art of the city, the Van Gogh museum, the little markets and shops.  
He had started jobbing in a flower shop early on, mainly to get in touch with other young people and to breeze in Amsterdam’s atmosphere, to feel its pulse right where it was beating the strongest.  
The fact that one could smoke pot easily was of course a bonus, too.  
Plus, Amsterdam’s concert hall was usually packed each night and Dan had often been found amongst the crowd.  
When his year in the Netherlands had slowly but surely come to an end, the Aussie had started to feel a strange tugging in his stomach area, not yet ready to leave the city and the surroundings he had grown to like so much behind.  
So when his hospitable mother, Beth, whom he had developed a strong friendship with over the course of the previous months, had asked him to stay a little longer, offering him an internship at the kindergarten she was working at, Dan had happily agreed.  
  
He had always loved working with children. Despite having no younger siblings, the Aussie had always looked after his cousins when they had been younger and he simply enjoyed to be around creatures that were able to find happiness in the simplest of things, as he himself was always looking on the bright side of life, usually found with a big grin plastered across his face.  
Working with kids made him happy and he was good at it, as he was able to comfort most children easily while not being too lenient at the same time.  
Which meant that it had not really been a surprise when the kindergarten in the heart of Amsterdam offered him an apprenticeship, basically begging him to stay with them.  
It had been an easy decision for the Aussie to make, for while he was missing his home country like hell, the hot temperatures and the adrenaline kick activities, his friends and his family, the Netherlands had already dug deep into his heart and he had not been able to say no.  
After starting his apprenticeship, he had found a flat close to the flower shop he was still jobbing at, at Leliegracht, which wasn’t too far away from the Anne Frank house as well.  
The flat was rather a studio apartment with a separate kitchen and a bathroom, but it was what he could afford and therefore just right, as Dan didn’t need much in order to be happy.  
A couple of years later, he had finished his apprenticeship as a nursery school teacher and he had graduated from his pedagogy studies that he had taken up at Amsterdam’s university.  
  
Being 29, Dan had pretty much achieved everything he had always been dreaming of. He was working in a job that he loved, he had found awesome friends in Amsterdam and he could afford to fly home at least once a year.  
The only thing that had not been working out for him had been his relationship with Jemma, whom he had met during one of his visits at home, but he should have known that he wasn’t the type for long distance relationships and she hadn’t been either, meaning that the both of them were probably better off without each other.  
And still, Dan couldn’t deny that he was feeling lonely from time to time.  
Sure, after spending a whole day with children and then with costumers and tourists at the flower shop, he often enjoyed to just relax in the evenings or on his weekends. But now and then, his flat was a little too quiet, too silent after a day filled with chattering and laughter.  
However, Daniel being the positive person he undoubtedly was, tried to not think nor worry about it for too long, trusting the universe to hold the right things for him in the future. He would just have to be patient, wouldn’t he?  
He wasn’t so sure about that but it wasn’t like he really had another choice, had he?  
  
It was the first day after the “summer holidays”, the three weeks in June when the kindergarten had been closed, meaning that it was Dan’s first days of work after spending the previous weeks in Australia, where he had gotten both suntanned and relaxed.  
Plus, a new tattoo was now gracing his thigh that had grown a bit more muscular from the surfing he had done, the inked skin barely shown by the navy blue shorts he was wearing.  
He pulled his Dutch roadster from the small stall in the backyard and cycled to work, drawing in the air that was clean despite being in a capital city, the water and the trees that were everywhere doing their work.  
Dan had missed the kids and he was looking forward to seeing them again, as well as greeting the new children that would have their first day at kindergarten the next day.  
  
When the first kids arrived, Dan was greeted by tight hugs and toddlers clinging to his legs, not wanting to let go of him until the Aussie promised them he would read out a story, the one with the dragons and the robots.  
After he had read the book three times, doing all the voices and the dragon’s roars, the teachers took the kids outside to play.  
Most of them were picked up around noon, only a handful usually stayed at the kindergarten until 4pm, when their parents would come back from work to take them home.  
That was when Daniel’s shift normally ended as well. However, he wasn’t done for the day, as he would spend another few hours at “Nando’s flower shop”. Now that Dan was permanently employed at the kindergarten, he wouldn’t need the money from his second job anymore, living on his own, but he could use the extra money for his flights to Australia, plus the owners of the shop and his co-worker had grown to be close friends of his and it didn’t really feel like work to spend time with them, anyway.  
  
He arrived at Nando’s fifteen minutes late due to the traffic and Fernando raised his eyebrows at him once he stepped foot into the shop that could be spotted from afar by the huge gay pride flag waving in front of it. Another thing Dan loved about Amsterdam.  
“Long day, no?” Fernando asked while binding a bouquet of flowers, wrapping velvety paper around the stems.  
“Long day,” Dan answered and nodded, flopping down onto a chair behind the counter with a heavy sigh, a smile yet playing on his lips.  
“You here to work though, no?” Fernando said with both a frown and an amused sparkle in his eyes.  
“But first, coffee!” someone called from the attached room in the back, that lead to Fernando’s and his husbands apartment above.  
“Ah, have I ever told you that I love you?” Dan shouted back, a wide grin spreading on his face, when Jenson stepped through a silky curtain and handed him a steaming cup of coffee.  
“Watch out, it’s-…”  
But Dan had already taken a sip, letting out a pained hiss almost immediately. Fernando let out a snort at that and Jenson chuckled deeply, coming to stand right behind the Spaniard, making use of his extra inches by resting his chin on top of the younger one’s dark hair.  
“And no tell my man you love him. I’m the only one allowed to say that,” Fernando pouted and Daniel rolled his eyes.  
“Jenson really isn’t my type,” he winked at the Brit and caught his offended gaze.  
“Hey!”  
“See, you not nearly as attractive as you think,” Fernando mumbled and finished the bouquet, his skilled hands finishing the job with ease.  
“That’s not what you said last night,” Jenson teased and caught the younger one’s earlobe with his teeth.  
“Ew,” Dan threw up his hands and nearly spilled some of his coffee, “that’s a clear case of too much information, guys.”  
“Oh, come on, Dan. It’s not our fault that you need to be laid.”  
The Aussie rolled his eyes once again, “Alrighty, guys. The sunflowers we ordered… they’re in the cooling?”  
“Yup,” Jenson made and tilted his head into the mentioned direction, “wanna prepare them for tomorrow?”  
“Yeah, where’s Stoffel, though?”  
Usually, his co-worker was always around at Nando’s, even if he wasn’t working at the moment, as he was living with the couple in their two story apartment above.  
“He’s on a date,” Fernando growled and Dan’s lips curled up in an amused smile.  
“A date?” he repeated with a smirk and caught Jenson’s silent laugh.  
“And Nando has been worried all afternoon,” the Brit chuckled and Fernando batted his hands away from his hips.  
“Haha, very funny, Jense. Only worried that she is not serious with him, no?”  
“He’s an adult, Nando. It will be fine,” Dan added and got up, already halfway out of the room to make his way to the cooling.  
“But I feel responsible, no?”  
“You’re not his dad, babe,” Jenson mumbled below his breath and Fernando shot something back in quick Spanish that Dan could not catch.  
  
He could still hear them fake-arguing when he arrived at the cooling, gathering the flowers he knew they would need the next day, while it was drawing a smile to his face.  
He was more than just glad that he had chosen this shop when he had been looking for a job all these years ago, as the couple had grown to be the closest thing he had to a family in the Netherlands and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.  
Fernando and Jenson were amongst his closest friends, the type of persons one could always turn to when things got serious, the people he could have both the greatest fun and deep conversations with.  
He held their friendship close, he had seen the little flower shop with its bright colours and the pride flags grown over the last years.  
He had met his best friend through the both of them, a reason enough to be in their debt forever.  
  
The sun was already low and golden, splashing through Amsterdam’s narrow streets, when Dan had finished his work for the day and stepped out of the flower shop, waving his goodbyes to Nando and Jenson.  
He let out a shriek when Lewis came to stop right in front of him with his moped, the Vespa way louder than usual, fitting the older one’s personality.  
Lewis’ earrings were sparkling in the evening sun, along with his bright teeth that made a dazzling contrast to his dark skin.  
“You up for a some clubbing, man?” he asked with a grin, already knowing what Dan’s answer would be before the Aussie spoke it out loud.  
“Damn, you’re growing old, Dan. Netflix and a pizza, then? There’s that vegan shop, Vegabond, next to your flat, isn’t it?”  
They walked their biked around the two corners to Leliegracht, where they bought some Pizza and curled up on Dan’s small couch to watch another episode of “Orphan Black”.  
  
Dan had definitely missed the Netherlands when he had been in Australia. His friends, his jobs, the city and its flair, it had grown to be his home.  
And yet-…  
It felt like something was missing from Dan’s life still.


	2. Chapter 2

When Dan woke up the next day, he felt excitement running through his veins at the thought of meeting the new kids today, even though he sent Lewis some curses via whatsapp when he spotted that, against his promises, the older one hadn't bothered to take their pizza cartons away when he had left after Daniel had fallen asleep.  
  
He got to work quickly, taking the bike wasn't always easy in Amsterdam but especially before 8 am, when the tourists hadn't arrived yet, Dan could wave all the people he passed by on his way good morning.  
It was a beautiful day in the first week of July, with the sun promising and the sky clear, yet it wouldn't be too hot due to the soft wind that was swaying through the streets coming from the seaside.  
  
He arrived right in time with Beth, leader of the kindergarten and mother of his former Au Pair kids who were both in their early teenage years now.  
She greeted him with a tight hug and Dan offered her some of the coffee he had picked up on his way.  
"How were your holidays?" Beth asked, opening up the front gate and slipping inside while she held the door open for Dan.  
"Awesome! I've missed surfing."  
The older woman let out a chuckle and shot the other Aussie a glance, "You do know that you can surf here, right? It's barely more than half an hour to the surf camp where Troye is currently spending his summer."  
Dan rolled his eyes at her playfully and locked up his bike.  
"Don't get me wrong, the Dutch seaside is beautiful, but-..."  
"Dan, I get it, it's not Australia. I'm on your side. I've been trying to convince Riiver for ages to spend a few months down there."  
The younger one eyed his older friend curiously, "You wanna go back home?"  
Beth laughed softly before shaking her blond, partly grey, curls, "Amsterdam is my home now. I've been here for - how long? - thirty years? But especially the winters... And I miss the mountains..."  
She shrugged another time, switching on the lights while opening up the windows, letting the daylight and fresh air inside.  
"I guess a few months in Perth would be enough. It's only possible in the summer, anyway, so the kids wouldn't miss that much in school. By the way, how are your parents?"  
"Ah, they're getting along," Dan grinned and set the coffee machine into motion, "they weren't exactly happy when I had to leave again but like you said, Amsterdam is home."  
And Dan meant what he said, because if there was one thing he knew for sure about this city, then it was that Amsterdam would consume you and tear apart your soul, only to mend it back together in a slightly different way, leaving behind the signature of art which would forever be a part of you.  
The seasons of the year might change, painting dozens of bright colours, but the essence of the city would crawl under your skin, infect your blood and inject a new form of living, a new form of art, right into your veins.  
"You're still working at Nando's?" Beth asked curiously, as she had initially been the one to point out to Daniel hat the flower shop was looking for an assistant when he had been on his internship, in need of earning money.  
Dan nodded and poured two more cups of coffee, knowing that Benthe and Maria would arrive any time soon.  
When Dan had first arrived to the Netherlands, he had had his struggles with understanding the Dutch system, as it was quite different to the Australian, but he had got used to it over time.  
In general, it wasn't unusual for children of young age, sometimes even younger than a year, to be at their kindergarten if the parents couldn't afford to have them at home due to their work.  
Most of the kids stayed with them to their fourth or fifth birthday, when they would go to basisschool.  
At his workplace, they had about 40 children that were diverted into five different groups, which weren't separated by age, except for those kids under the age of two, as they needed special care.  
Together with Beth, he led a group called "the dragons" and as the infant nursery, led by Benthe and Maria, was attached to their room, the four of them had grown quite close.  
Moreover, Dan found himself in the centre of all groups’ attention more often than not anyways, as he was the only male teacher after Tom had left as a senior.  
  
Half an hour later, all teachers and most of the children had arrived and the parents with their new kids were already waiting outside.  
"Dan, can you show them around today? I'll come along later on."  
  
So Daniel did as he was told, greeting each parent with a handshake and giving all of their kids a happy smile. First impression was really important on days like these, especially if some of the children rather wanted to stay with their mums and dads instead of going to a kindergarten.  
Eleven kids had left them before the summer break to go to basisschool and nine new children had gotten a place this year.  
Dan knew first hand that a place at their kindergarten, in the centre of the city but yet with a huge inside as well as outside area was anything but cheap. They were the best around town.  
  
"Everyone's here?" he asked cheerfully and asked the parents for their names, ticking them off on the papers he had brought along. He had to check the board two times in order to notice that one child was missing.  
"Verstappen?" he asked, looking around the group of parents and children before giving his sheets another look, "any parent of Mats Verstappen here?"  
Mumbling arose between the other adults and some started to nervously check their watches. Dan mentally rolled his eyes.  
"I guess we will have to wait another five minutes," he said with an apologetic smile and shrugged his shoulders, "it's probably the traffic."  
Some mums nodded understandingly while others, a few dads amongst them, frowned impatiently, checking their phones in the meantime.  
Five minutes grew into fifteen, when finally, a young man with dark blond hair, wearing jeans and a blue long sleeve with neon logos on it, rushed into the hall of the kindergarten, carrying a toddler with black locks that were falling into his face on his arms.  
"I'm sorry!" he called out, out of breath, and inhaled deeply, brushing a few drops of sweat from his forehead, "I... We..."  
"It's fine," Dan said and gave the young man, who was maybe even a teenager, a polite smile. The Aussie suspected him to be the child's older brother or something.  
"As everyone is here now, I can start to show you around our facilities."  
  
He started by showing them the rooms of their five groups.  
"This is the dragon group, my group," he checked his list to call out the three kids that he would be responsible for later on. The teenager boy shot him a nervous glance.  
"This is our second group, the caterpillars."  
They continued like that for the next ten minutes, Daniel showing them around the one story building, the bathrooms and the kitchen, where they baked and cooked with the older kids each Thursday.  
Eventually, they made it to the gardens and he smiled contently when the parents were clearly impressed by their newest sandpit and the swings they had installed over the summer.  
Dan didn't fail to notice how most of the kids, as all of them were old enough already, were holding on to their parents hands, walking on wobbly feet, while only Mats Verstappen was still in his brother's arms, his face shyly buried in the crook of the young man's neck, messy curls bouncing up and down with each step. From his files, he knew that the kid would turn two in a few weeks.  
  
On their way back inside, Dan led all the children from different groups to their teachers, letting the parents say their goodbyes. Today, the kids would only stay for about two hours, the amount of time increasing over the next days or weeks.  
That left him behind with the kids and parents of his own group, a three years old girl called Anna, a 2 1/2 years old boy named Jonas and curly one that had caught Dan's attention earlier on.  
  
"So, as I have already said, but I'll repeat it again because I'm the leader of this group, together with Beth, who is running our kindergarten," he gave each remaining part a smile, "my name is Daniel Ricciardo, but Dan is just fine as well. As you can probably hear, I am not from the Netherlands."  
He received some smiles back in return.  
"Born and raised in Perth, Australia, I came here at the age of nineteen as an Au Pair but stayed."  
He noticed how Mats started babbling in his brother's arms, the young man no longer listening to Daniel at all but entirely focused on the toddler.  
Daniel kneeled down on the floor, turning away from the scene and giving his attention to Anna and Jonas, who were eying him both shy and curiously.  
"So, does anyone of you like dragons?" Dan asked, grinning already because really, who didn't like dragons?  
The two kids nodded quickly and Dan smiled, pulling a stuffed animal from one of the cupboards.  
"This is Fannis, he's our group animal! See, he can even speak!" Dan slid his hand into the dragon and opened its mouth with his hands, using his own voice to make some sounds he suspected to be dragonish.  
It drew giggles from the two kids.  
"Fannis will show you the room soon, okay? Until then, you can play with him!" he handed the dragon to the two children who started their curious investigations on the stuffed animal.  
  
While Daniel let their parents say their goodbyes to the kids, he made some steps towards the Verstappens, who were standing a bit behind and close to the door, as if ready to leave.  
"Is everything fine?" Daniel asked, genuinely worried when he came to stop in front of the two.  
From up close, the boy didn't look that young anymore but not exactly old either, Dan suspected him to be about 20.  
He had muscular arms and a muscular neck, but his waist was yet slim and Dan wondered which sport had formed it like that.  
His face was shaped angular but was still very soft in some places, as if the boy had just recently lost his baby fat and hadn't yet grown into his adult-body.  
"No, i-it's fine, Mats is just... He likes to stay with me, you know."  
While they had many children and parents from different nations that had migrated to the Netherlands, it was without any doubt that the boy was a native speaker, his bright eyes flickering nervously.  
"I'm Max," he added quickly, an insecure smile forming on his lips.  
"Hello, Max," Dan said and gave him an assuring glance.  
Carefully, Max Verstappen placed the toddler on the carpet, giving his back a comforting stroke.  
The both of them kneeled down next to Mats and Dan could feel Max's sceptical eyes on his body.  
"Hey, mate. I'm Dan," the kid looked at him shyly, "what is your name?"  
The young Verstappen shot Max a glance before raising a hand to tug on his own dark curls, babbling happily, "My name is Mats."  
"That's a beautiful name!" Daniel said and the small one blushed, looking up at Daniel expectantly while blowing a strand of dark hair out of his face.  
Dan's heart swell.  
"How old are you?"  
Mats seemed to think about the question, giving Max another look, who raised his fingers to give the toddler a hint.  
"Two!" Mats eventually blurted out and Max comfortingly stroked his scalp.  
"Well, almost. He'll turn two soon."  
Dan nodded, as he had already read that.  
  
The Aussie was taken by surprise when he suddenly felt two tiny hands on his waist, trying to hug him while Mats stumbled over Dan's long legs that he had crossed in front of him.  
"Whoops," Dan chuckled and pulled the little on his lap, holding onto him to prevent him from falling over.  
  
He noticed how Max eyed the scene with a deep frown on his face.  
"Everything alright?" Dan mouthed at him and the Dutch seemed almost embarrassed by having been caught by the Aussie.  
He ran a hand through his short blond hair and let out a sigh.  
"Well, he's usually rather shy, you know. I haven't seen him making friends so fast ever before."  
Dan grinned at the younger one, "I'm good with kids."  
Max nodded, the darkness still not completely gone from his face, "I can see."  
  
They watched how Mats got up on his wobbly legs and made some steps towards the cushion area where he started pulling on a particularly big and orange one.  
Dan took that as a chance to turn to the younger man.  
"You're not yet ready to let him go, are you?" he asked in a soft voice and caught how Max's eyes widened for a second.  
Eventually, the younger one sighed deeply, his eyes focused on Mats.  
"He's my son," he said and shrugged his shoulders.  
Dan's lips parted.  
"You're his father?"  
Max frowned and nodded, obviously not getting what the question was about.  
"Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Sorry, I just assumed... I... Sorry, how old are you?"  
"I'm twenty."  
  
So Max had become a father at eighteen.  
Dan swallowed.  
He hadn't even had finished school at that time.  
He managed to suppress his curiosity to ask about the child's mother and why she wasn't here today and instead, he placed a comforting hand on the young Dutch's shoulder.  
"I'll take good care of him. And you can visit him, if you want to. That makes it easier for many parents."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this? :)


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Daniel found himself in the centre of Mats Verstappen's attention once again, without even witnessing that the young Dutch had arrived.  
He had been busy helping one of the older kids tie their shoes, when he had suddenly felt the still unfamiliar tiny hands of the curly haired coming to rest around his thigh.  
  
Dan looked down, seeing how Mats was shyly glancing up at him, yet determined in his decision to not let go of the Aussie's leg until he would kneel down next to the little one.  
"Good morning, Mats," Dan said cheerfully and took his small hand in his, "I'm happy you're here."  
Mats nodded hesitantly before another shy smile started playing on his lips.  
"You okay, mate? All good?"  
"Yap," Mats said and sent his black locks flying.  
"I like your hair!" Dan chuckled, reaching up to touch his own black curls, shorter on the sides than on top of his head.  
Mats giggled softly.  
"They're mummy."  
Dan raised an eyebrow, "Your mum's? Does she have such beautiful curls as well?"  
Mats nodded quickly, reaching out to touch Dan's hair as well.  
"Did your mummy bring you here?"  
"No," Mats answered, after thinking about the question, making Dan wonder whether he had even understood him correctly in the first place.  
"Daddy brought you here?"  
"Daddy," Mats repeated and nodded, a serious expression now on his face, before it vanished and he started tugging on one of Dan's dark strands.  
Daniel suddenly felt disappointed.  
From what he had experienced yesterday, it wasn't easy for the young father to let go of his son, if only for several hours, so he would have liked to talk to him some more.  
  
While Beth was currently painting with the six kids of their group that had been at the kindergarten for a year or longer, Daniel was the one to make sure that the three new kids, Mats, Maria and Jonas were well looked after.  
He showed them their books and all of their stuffed animals, imitated dragon noises several times as the little ones had clearly fallen in love with their group mascot, Fannis.  
  
The day went on and it was a rather quiet day, as some of the kids weren’t at the kindergarten at all at this time of the year but on holidays with their parents and their older siblings that would not have to attend school for another couple of weeks.   
Maria and Benthe had decided to come over with the two infants they were looking after and Dan had poured all of them a cup of coffee, sitting down on their separate table while the kids were having breakfast on their smaller ones.   
  
They spoke about their days off, about Benthe’s time in surprisingly sunny Scotland and how Maria had enjoyed it to have some calm days with her boyfriend by the seaside, their conversation eventually leading to what Beth had told Daniel the previous day, about how she wished she could convince her husband to spend several months in Australia.   
  
“He hates flying, you know,” Beth said with a sigh and shrugged her shoulders, a ‘what can I do’-smile playing on her lips.   
“Dan doesn’t like planes either, but he gets over it still,” Maria pointed out and Dan nodded along. How bad could it really be?  
“Yeah, it’s not like he is afraid of flights. He just keeps on complaining about how little space there is and on and on…” Beth chuckled and took a sip of her coffee, her professional eyes never leaving the children on the other tables.   
“Lars!” she suddenly called out, “stop shoving your carrots into your brother’s face!”   
When the blond twin made no attempts to stop his harassment, Dan got up and kneeled down next to the two siblings, taking the vegetable out of Lars’ hands.   
“Would you want Anders to rub his apple into your face?” he asked calmly but in a serious town, trying his best to keep a straight face at how the small blond was shooting him murderous looks.   
“See, you eat your food and Anders eats his.”   
He stayed with them for a couple of minutes in order to make sure that they ate up their vegetables without smacking the other with it, and when he eventually got back to the three other teachers, he was greeted by curious eyes, making him wonder what they had talked about while he had been absent.   
“What is it?” he asked, sitting down next to Beth again, discovering that his coffee had turned cold in the meantime.   
“We were just wondering if you’ve met Jemma in Perth, when you were at home,” Benthe asked straightforward and Daniel’s eyebrows shot up.   
“Jemma?”   
The 38 years old nodded, “Yes, we’ve all liked her very much and don’t you think that the two of you could give it another try?”   
“Puh,” Dan let out a sigh and ran a hand through his curls, “I haven’t really thought about it at all.”   
“But you still have to think about her, don’t you? How long have you been dating? Five years?”   
It had been almost six but Daniel wasn’t sure if these years even counted, as they had barely seen each other more than four times a year, keeping their relationships to skype calls and text messages, which hadn’t been exactly easy as well, as the different time zones had gotten into their way more often than not.   
He had been 22 when they had met each other at a party of shared friends but actually, they had been in high school together, without really knowing that much about each other.   
“I don’t know, we haven’t been dating for almost two years now and in a way, that feels longer than the time we _did_ date. I don’t even know what she’s up to now.”   
“You could give her a call?” Maria proposed and Dan shook his head gently.   
He knew what to make out of his co-workers questions, being well aware that especially Beth was worried about him being too lonely most of the time. He had sensed it when she had asked him about his employment at Nando’s the previous day.   
“I’m not the type for a long distance relationship anyway. I wouldn’t want to leave the Netherlands. Not any time soon, maybe never,” he shrugged his shoulders.   
Beth’s eyes lit up and her blond curls framed her face when she leaned in with a devious smirk, “So we’ll have to find you someone Dutch.”   
Dan grinned and licked his lips.   
“ _You_ don’t have to find me anyone.”  
She rolled her eyes and fake-pouted, giving the fellow Aussie’s arm a squeeze.   
“How about the older sister of the Haugvad twins?” Maria asked and shot the two brothers a glance, now almost too peacefully sharing their vegetables.   
“Oh yes, she’s got her eyes on you, I can see it every time she picks up Lars and Anders!” Benthe added and winked at Dan, causing him to blush.   
“That’s not true.”   
“So you’re not interested?” Beth apparently did not want to let it slip that easily.   
“I reckon I’m not,” Dan laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “and I’m not searching for anything right now anyway.”   
“Naw, so you’re waiting for true love to find you? How cute,” Benthe commented and winked at the youngest one. Dan crossed his arm in front of his chest, shaking his head softly.   
“How about that friend of yours? That Lewis guy?”   
“Lewis?” Beth and Dan managed to spit out at the very same time, “no way!”   
Maria raised her hands in defence, “It was just a thought.”   
Dan shook his head rapidly, horrified by the images his co-worker had placed on his mind.   
“Lewis is one giant catastrophe, believe me. We wouldn’t work out. Plus, he’s still not over that guy he didn’t even date in the first place so… no. He’s my best friend, nothing more, nothing less.”   
Benthe sighed deeply, “We’ll just have to wait for happiness to find our favourite Aussie, won’t we?”   
Beth gave her the finger, carefully making sure that none of the kids could see it.   
“Hey, I’m happy already!” Dan called out, “who needs a date anyway?”   
“Now you’re sounding like my sister on Valentine’s day,” Maria laughed and Dan shot her a dark glance.   
  
After their breakfast break, they took the older kids outside, where they stayed until noon when the first parents arrived to pick up their children, as it was a beautiful day in Amsterdam.  
Beth and Dan were left with only two little ones then, Mats Verstappen and a girl called Lotte.   
Daniel would have expected Mats to be picked up soon, but there wasn’t anyone in sight yet and when the small one started babbling unhappily, the Aussie pulled him onto his sandy lap, brushing a long strand of dark hair from Mats’ face.   
“Hey, mate,” Dan said cheerfully, “wanna play football?”  
The almost-2-years-old’s eyes lit up at the word and he brought his tiny hands together in a happy clap.   
“Football?” he repeated with big blue eyes, sometimes greenish in their tone.   
“Exactly,” Dan got up and placed Mats on his own feet, helping him exit the sandpit two the lawn while fetching a football from their cabinet.   
The young Verstappen chased the ball excitedly, letting out joyful noises once and then. When Dan held the ball up high in the air, out of the small one’s reach, he whined unhappily but hugged the Aussie’s legs tightly when Dan passed the ball back to him.   
Eventually, Mats collapsed onto the grass exhaustedly and Dan lay down next to him.   
“Good match,” Dan grinned, keeping his eyes on the kid.   
“Good match,” Mats repeated and Dan laughed at how he tried to imitate Daniel’s Aussie slang.   
  
He almost jumped when Beth called his name, pointing at the fence next to the main gate.   
“Isn’t that his dad?” she asked, right when Dan had spotted the young man standing there, apparently having watched them.   
“It is,” Dan confirmed and frowned. Why hadn’t he come in or at least given a signal?   
Somewhat confused, Dan picked up Mats and walked towards Max Verstappen. The closer he came, the clearer it got that the young man seemed to feel rather uncomfortable.   
Dan opened up the fence gate, to let him inside.   
“Do you want to take him home?” Daniel asked, making an attempt to hand Mats to Max, who took his child without hesitation. The curly one’s arms flew around Max’s neck immediately.   
“Y-yeah.”  
Dan didn’t miss the shadows under Verstappen’s eyes, the unhealthy colour of his face nor how he was nervously shifting from one leg to the other.   
“Is everything okay?” he asked, suddenly worried about both the kid and his father.   
“Yeah, sure.”   
“Not to be rude, but you actually don’t look like it. Want to sit down for a minute?”   
Dan pointed at one of the tree trunks placed on the grass on which the kids would usually play.   
Max’s bright eyes flickered around the garden and he seemed relieved when Beth and Lotte were the only ones he could spot.   
“Okay,” he eventually said, his voice dry and restrained.   
“I get how it is still hard for you to not have Mats around all the time,” Dan said softly once they had sat down next to each other, “it’s probably not easy at all.”   
“No, it’s not,” Max admitted, a shaky hand holding Mats upright.   
“Do you want me to hold him for a sec?” Dan asked and Max shook his head.   
Dan bit his lip.   
“He likes you,” Max eventually said, his guarded gaze finding Daniel’s.  
“That makes it a lot easier,” he added, his eyes still not leaving the Aussie’s face.   
Dan smiled at him, tentatively.   
“I wish I had the time to have him at home for a year longer or so,” Max said, his gaze now dropping to the grass, “but I have to work to pay the rent for our flat and the same goes for his grandparents, they’re helping me a lot.”   
“What about his mum?” Dan asked before he could stop himself and cursed his bluntness immediately, when pain flashed across the young Dutch’s face.   
“It’s complicated.”   
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Dan assured him, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment.   
“Yeah,” was all Max said as a reply, before he fell silent once again.  



	4. Chapter 4

They developed a habit over the course of the next days without Dan realizing it until they were sitting in the sandpit with Mats and three other kids that were yet to be picked up, talking about Max’s career.  
Dan had learned earlier on that the Dutch was working in a PR Agency for racing drivers, what he hadn’t known was that Max himself had been a driver once, in fact still was.  
“I drove in Formula 3, you know,” Max said, while helping his sun to build a castle in the sand, “I would have had a future in F1, maybe.”  
He said it casually but Dan wasn’t fooled easily, he didn’t miss the shadows that were suddenly overcrowding the other man’s eyes.  
Dan didn’t have to ask what got in the way of the younger one’s dreams, with Mats sitting right in front of them.  
Max had apparently followed the Aussie’s eyes and hurried to explain himself.  
“I don’t blame Mats for anything,” as if to underline his words, he pressed a soft kiss to the toddler’s temples, “he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”  
His gaze found Dan’s, “The one thing I really want to do the right way.”  
The Australian nodded in understanding, encouraging Max to continue with his story.  
“I loved racing. It was always about that, about that only,” he explained and his gaze went off into the distance, “my dad was a driver as well. He’s quite passionate about it.”  
“Which series did he drive?” Dan asked curiously, being a fan of everything that included a rush of adrenaline and therefore racing as well.  
Max shot him a glance and a small smile, “Formula 1.”  
“Wait,” Dan exhaled, realization drooling on him, “you’re Jos Verstappen’s son?”  
Max sighed, a sound that made his muscular shoulders heave and left too much room for interpretation. Daniel wasn’t sure what to make out of it.  
“My dad was a fan of him,” Daniel stated and Max shrugged his shoulders, his lips forming a thin line.  
The Aussie frowned at the sight, “You’re not?”  
“Well…” Max hesitated and his eyes roamed over Dan’s face for a second, “we don’t really get along.”  
“I’m sorry,” he said and meant it.  
Despite being that far away from his family, a close relationship to his parents had always been important to the older one.  
“It’s okay,” Max assured him but Dan wasn’t sure whether he could believe his words.  
  
That was how it was with Max Verstappen most of the time. He would tell Dan about parts of his life and then back down before revealing anything truly private, a fact that wouldn’t bother the Aussie so much if he hadn’t started to like the young Dutch.  
But there was little Dan could do about it, one couldn’t be forced to make a friend, so he tried to shrug it off.  
  
They also talked about how Max was sharing a house with Mats’ grandparents, living in the separate flat above their shop.  
“They look after broken bikes, you know. And those that are fished out of the channels, if there not yet too rotten.”  
“You said that you and your dad don’t get along, yet you’re sharing a house…?” Dan eventually asked and frowned at the younger one.  
“Oh, no! That would never work,” Max chuckled somewhat bitterly, “I’m living with the parents of Mats’ mum.”  
Dan noticed how Mats’ head turned at the word, eyeing his dad expectantly.  
“Ah, sorry, I didn’t get that,” Dan smiled apologetically.  
“They took me in when Mats was born and, you know, things went down the hill with my dad.”  
“That’s very nice of them.”  
“They’re the greatest, you’d like them,” Max smiled tentatively and Daniel grinned.  
  
Dan hadn’t even realized that they had been talking for so long that the clock was already striking 4pm, which meant that his shift was over for the day.  
In the meantime, Mats had fallen asleep on the Aussie’s lap, peacefully resting in the older man’s arms.  
Max looked down on his son with a small smile playing on his lips.  
“He told me that he likes your tattoo.”  
Dan shot the Dutch a surprised grin, “Which one?”  
“You’ve got more than one?”  
With the shorts that reached to his knees and the t-shirt Dan was wearing, along with socks that covered his ankle, none of his tattoos was on display at the moment.  
“I guess he’s seen the one on my thigh. It’s a ship.”  
“Mats likes boats,” Max explained and for some reason, it made the Aussie chuckle.  
  
When the Dutch was eying him and Mats for a moment, Dan raised his eyebrows at him, making Max look a little flustered.  
“What?” Daniel mouthed, in order to not disturb the small one in his sleep.  
“I was wondering, you know, Mats doesn’t sleep much lately and I’m glad when he does, if you’d… I mean, he could wake up if we… ehm.”  
“Just spit it out, Maxy,” Dan grinned and the younger one shot him a dark look at the nickname.  
“Would you mind carrying him home? It’s actually just around the corner, barely 300 meters or so.”  
“Sure,” Dan said and the younger one seemed to be surprised by his quick consent, “if you walk my bike to your house?”  
“Deal,” Max Verstappen whispered and Dan would have high fived him if he wasn’t busy with holding a sleeping toddler in his arms.  
  
“It’s a nice area to live,” Dan commented when they were strolling down the small street that was framed by historic Dutch houses to their left and trees in their full beauty on the right, alongside a channel.  
“Yeah, less tourists,” Max responded while the rooftops painted images of light and shadow on his skin.  
It was like the young Dutch had said and after a short walk that didn’t take longer than a few minutes, Max stopped in front of a bike shop, _repairs_ written in big white letters on turquoise wooden lambrizering.  
They didn’t have to enter the shop in order to get in, instead Max opened up a small door next to it and held it open for the Aussie to step inside a dark and narrow staircase.  
He followed the younger one up the stairs and when they had reached the second floor on top of the building, having passed the flat that was apparently Max’s parents-in-law’s, Dan felt Mats weight heavy on his arms, his breath coming faster than usual.  
“Now I get why you wanted me to carry him here,” Dan stated, taking a deep breath to make his point while Max was fumbling with the keys.  
The younger one turned around with an amused smile, giving first his and then Dan’s bicep a look. Offended, Dan’s eyebrows shot up.  
  
Daniel was not sure what he expected of the apartment but he was taken by surprise still.  
When they stepped into the flat, the Aussie found himself in the middle of a living room that could only be described as a mixture of extremely tasteful décor and a teenager’s bedroom.  
It made Dan wonder whether Mats’ grandparents had done the basic furnishing, leaving the rest to Max.  
The dominant colours of the room were kept simple but in style, three of the four walls painted in an elegant teal blue, the fourth in a bright grey, habituating the TV which was framed by two book shelves on each side.  
The couch was of grey colour as well, black and sunflower-yellow patterned pillows making it look comfy.  
A modern chest of drawers was taking up much space and there was a small table in the back of the room, by the windows that granted a nice view over the trees and the channel.  
With good will, the rest of the room could be describes as artistic chaos.  
Toys were lying around, along with stuffed animals and children books, one of the walls was plastered with pictures and posters of race cars and next to the door, there was a pile of shoes forming on the floor. Daniel, being a rather tidy person, was no longer used to the chaos of a teenager that Max undoubtedly still was in many aspects, but it was a nice home still.  
It made the room look full of life and joy and the Aussie liked it.  
“Sorry, it’s a bit messy,” Max whispered right then and stepped further into the room, giving Dan more space.  
“His room is actually there,” the Dutch pointed at a door to their right, “but he sleeps with me most of the time, anyways.”  
The younger one strolled through the living room with big steps and when Daniel followed him, passing a wall that was separating the area from another, he spotted a small attached kitchen and another door which he suspected to lead to the bathroom.  
Max’s bedroom was kept in the same teal blue colour and the décor gave Dan the impression of a high prized tourist apartment, making the Aussie suspect that Mats’ grandparents had rented the room to visitors before Max had moved in permanently.  
Most of the space was taking up by a king size bed with crumpled sheets, the bedspread hastily thrown over it. One of the walls was covered by a built-in-wardrobe and from what Dan could see, the windows granted a view over the channel as well, just like at his own apartment.  
Next to the bed stood a way smaller one and Dan made careful steps towards it, gently placing Mats inside of it.  
“Sleep tight, mate,” he whispered and smiled contently when the toddler didn’t wake up while the Aussie draped his thin blanket over his short body.   
  
“Can I offer anything to you? Juice or a beer?”  
“No beer, I’ll have to work later on,” Dan explained and wondered if he only imagined to see Max’s face fall.  
“But I’ll take a coffee if that’s fine,” he hurried to add and Max gave him a thumbs up.  
“But if you have to leave, don’t feel obliged to stay or something,” the Dutch replied while they made their way to the kitchen, Max starting to rummage through the cupboards while Dan sat down on bar stool.  
Daniel stopped the younger one with a wave of his hand, “It’s alrighty, I’ll just text them that I’ll be a little late.”  
“What kind of a job is it that your boss is so relaxed?” Max asked curiously, pouring a cup of coffee while he got himself a Red Bull from his fridge. Dan thought to spot a whole collection of the energy drink inside, making him wonder how much sleep the Dutch actually got.  
“It’s a small flower shop, where Leliegracht is meeting Keizersgracht, if you know that by chance…?”  
“Isn’t that by the Homomonument?”  
“Close, yeah.”  
Max shot him an amused glance while he handed the Aussie his coffee.  
“So the kindergarten doesn’t pay you well enough?”  
Dan shook his head, “Nah, but you have to pay the bills, right? I started working at Nando’s when I was just doing an unpaid internship.”  
“After you came here as an Au Pair?”  
“Exactly.”  
Max took a long sip of his Red Bull, leaning against the counters while he was eyeing the Australian.  
“I don’t think I would have been able to do it. Leaving home for a year abroad, I mean.”  
Dan nodded in understanding.  
“I didn’t have any responsibilities when I was 19, you know,” Daniel explained and Max laughed.  
“Got a point there.”  
And God, Daniel thought, how young the boy was with his 20 years, barely older than himself had been when he had come to the Netherlands.  
He had been a child back then, a teenager looking for adventures and new aspects to life far away from home.  
And Max was one still, with his boyish smiles and how he blushed all the time, but there was more to him.  
Dan guessed it was only natural that one aged quicker when becoming a father to a child while still being one themselves in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ what are you thinking of the dynamic between Dan/Max and Dan/Max's son? :)


	5. Chapter 5

With a mixture of amusement and worry, Dan watched how Max opened his second and then third Red Bull energy drink.  
“At least you’re not breastfeeding,” he eventually commented, pointing at the empty cans.   
Max let out a sigh, rolling his eyes at the same time while he didn’t really seem to mean it.   
“I know. It’s a habit and Mats keeps me up at night. And work keeps me up at day, you know.”   
“I know,” Daniel assured him, downing his second glass of water, “it’s not good for you though and fucks up your sleeping rhythm in the long run.”   
“Which sleeping rhythm?” Max asked with a playful snarl, his shoulders falling down a little.   
The Aussie gave him a sympathetic smile.   
“It helps a lot when Mats is at least sleeping in the late afternoon or up until midnight, it’s basically the only time I have for myself.”   
Max said it matter-of-factly, not sounding like he was complaining at all. He sounded exhausted nonetheless.   
“I’m glad I could help, then,” Dan stated contently and the young Dutch’s face lit up, a grateful smile playing on the kid’s lips.   
“You up for a round of FIFA?”   
  
One round turned into another and another until Dan had to fetch his phone from the kitchen, messaging that he would not make it to work this day into the _Nando’s groupchat_ with said Spaniard, his husband and his co-worker Stoffel.   
  
Sorry, I reckon I’m not gonna make it today   
D.R.  
  
Dan was well aware that they would be able to compensate his absence easily and really, Stoffel drew back at least once a week, so it wouldn’t make him the worst person on earth to do the same just once.   
  
Alright, you O.K.? You sick?  
F.A.  
  
Came Fernando’s answer within seconds and Max took the chance to score his fifth goal in barely more than a couple of minutes. How the hell was he that good at fucking Fifa? Right afterwards, when Dan started texting back, the Dutch was fortunately generous enough to set the match on pause.

No, it’s all good, don’t worry and have a nice evening!   
D.R.  
  
Are you being evasive?   
J.B.  
  
Jenson asked, together with an emoji that really didn’t fit the context but what was new.  
  
Why would I be? I’m just with someone, playing FIFA  
D.R.  
  
Whaaaaat, you’re ditching work bc of FIFA? Dan! Who are you and what have you done to yourself? Did you hear that, Nando?  
S.V.  
  
Dan grinned at Stoffel’s reply and he caught Max’s curious gaze from the corner of his eye.  
  
Ah yes, a FIFA date, classy, buddy. ;)   
J.B.  
  
Unless I’m having a date with an 2 years old, I’m not having a date haha  
D.R.

  
A two years old? Ew, weird Danny boy. Just weird.   
J.B.  
  
You play Fifa with baby? How? o.O  
F.A.  
  
Of course not, Nando. With his dad. It’s complicated, explain on Monday.  
D.R.  
  
Dan tugged his phone away, while Max was looking at him expectantly.   
  
Over the course of the next hour, Dan was not able to win a single FIFA match but it was good fun still. He learned that Max was quite a sports lover, a thing that came almost naturally with most Australian’s, anyway.   
“I still think football is overrated, you know,” Dan eventually said, well aware that it would get on the Dutch’s nerves. The younger one swiftly shot him a dark glance and mumbled something below his breath that the older man did not catch.   
“It’s a fact,” Dan added challengingly and winked at Max, who let out a snort.   
“A fact?” he repeated with scepticism and crossed his arms in front of his chest, dropping the controller. Dan mirrored his posture.   
“A fact,” he nodded, giving the Dutch a provoking look.   
“The only reason you think like that is because Australia sucks at football.”   
“Hey!” Dan called out, a smirk forming on his lips while he witnessed how Max’s face grew red upon the realization that dawned on him, “who qualified for the World Cup again? Was it Holland?”   
Daniel pursed his lips, as if he had to think of the answer.   
“Oh, shut up.”   
“Ah yes, it was Australia!”   
“Yeah, because they got lucky with their group,” Max said through gritted teeth, a spark of amusement yet glinting in his bright eyes.   
What followed was a heated discussion on which country was better at sports, with Daniel pointing out Australia’s achievements in cricket and rugby while Max was of the opinion that these weren’t “real sports anyone cares about anyway”.   
“Rude,” Dan had said to that, pouting, which had drawn a low chuckle from the Dutchman, whose features looked younger when he laughed.   
In the end, they could agree on the fact that both countries had pretty good surfers and that surfing was one of the best sports anyway, so they high fived and smiled at each other.   
“Do you surf?” Dan asked, getting up to get himself and Max a glass of water, ignoring the younger one’s plea to bring him another Red Bull. Max commented on it with a sigh.   
“I used to surf a lot. My parents are living by the seaside and whenever the weather was fine, yeah… But since Mats was born, I haven’t made it there.”   
“To go surfing or to see your parents?”   
Max brought up a hand, running his fingers through his dark blond and accurate cut hair.   
“Neither,” he looked up to catch the Aussie’s gaze, “like I said, my dad and I don’t really get along.”   
“Yeah…” Dan said, hoping that the younger one would explicate this time, but the Dutch remained silent.   
Their conversation drifted off some more, until they were eventually interrupted by an unhappy whine coming from Max’s bedroom.   
A mixture of emotions quickly flashed over the younger one’s face and Dan thought to mainly identify exhaustion, which evoked sympathy in him.   
“Do you want me to…?” he didn’t finish his sentence and got up with Max, who had raised his hands.   
“It’s fine, Daniel, really, you-…”   
“I’m a kindergarten teacher, Max, remember? I love my job,” he flashed the other man a wide smile and tried to find permission in his gaze.   
Max eventually smiled gratefully and nodded, his tense shoulders falling down.   
  
So Dan helped Mats out of his bed and took him in his arms, brushing some sweaty strands of black hair out of his face while whispering comforting words.   
He swayed back and forth, his hand stroking the warm back of the toddler until the dissatisfied whining had stopped and Mats was looking up at him with big bright eyes.   
When he stepped back into the living room, Max had disappeared into the kitchen, so the Aussie sat down on the couch and talked some more to the little Verstappen.   
His dad came back in with a small bowl that smelled of porridge.   
“He’s probably hungry,” he stated and handed Dan the items.   
“Is it really okay, Max?” the Aussie asked while placing Mats in the right position to feed him, suspecting that the Dutch hadn’t let basically strangers feed his son before.   
“Like you said, you’re working at a kindergarten, aren’t you?” Max smiled shyly and a light blush was once again covering his cheeks, “and Mats likes you. So it’s all good.”   
“Great,” Dan replied with a wide grin, taking in the scent of the toddler that was still so oddly specific and pleasant.   
While he was helping the little one with the spoons, encouraging him to not spill the mash anywhere but place it in his mouth, Dan couldn’t stop himself from wondering how the everyday life of the young father looked like.   
He wasn’t missing the shadows under Max’s eyes and his consume of energy drinks was definitely worrying, giving a hint on the stress level the young Dutch was facing every day.   
Dan could only hope that Mats’ grandparents were helping him out, as Max had told him a few days before, despite the fact that they were currently on vacation. He thought of it as impressive that the 20 years old was apparently still doing so well, at least Mats was well looked after.   
He himself would have probably been completely overwhelmed by the task of caring for a baby at the age of 18. Hell, that was so long ago, he could barely remember how life had been back then.   
So what was with Mats’ mother? Had Max and her split? Obviously the must have, as Max hadn’t mentioned her yet and she surely wasn’t living with him, so what had happened?   
Dan knew that he couldn’t just asked, Max clearly did not want to talk about it, but he hoped that he’d be able to find out one day, though.   
  
When Mats had finished the porridge, the sun was already low in the sky and a glance at the clock above the TV told Dan that it was already half past eight. When had time passed that quickly?   
“His eyes are falling shut again,” Max commented, his gaze fixed on the toddler in Dan’s lap, “but it usually takes him ages to fall asleep.”   
“That’s because you haven’t tried my special lullaby yet,” Dan grinned, smirking at the younger one who raised his eyebrows at the Aussie.   
“Your special lullaby? Really?”   
Dan nodded, a soft chuckle dropping from his lips.   
“Watch and learn.”   
Dan cleared his throat, a wide grin still splitting his face in two, before he started singing as out of tune as ever.   
“ _I had a dream so big and loud, I jumped so high, I touched the clouds, who-o-o-o-o-o-oh._ ”  
“Oh oh oh,” Mats repeated while giggling, bringing his tiny hands together for clumsy claps.   
“I’m sure that will lull him to sleep,” Max was biting down on his bottom lip to stop an amused smile from spreading and caught Dan’s eyes for a second.   
“Watch and learn I said! _I stretched my hands out to the sky, we danced with monsters through the night, who-o-o-o-o-o-oh._ ”   
“Oh oh,” Mats repeated once again, his joyful laughter filling the living room, much to his dad’s scepticism.   
“ _I’m never gonna look back, whoa, never gonna give it up, no, please don’t wake me up_ ,” before starting the chorus, Dan lowered his voice to a soft whisper, swaying Mats back and forth in his arms, “ _this is gonna be the best day of my life, my li-i-i-i-i-i-ifeeee._ ”  
He continued with the song and while Mats was looking up at him with curious eyes at first, his eyelids got heavier throughout the song and when Dan had finished the chorus for the last time, the little Dutch had actually fallen asleep, snoring softly.   
“I don’t believe this,” Max mouthed at the Aussie, shaking his head in disbelief.   
“You can’t even sing! It sounded horrible!”   
“Now that’s just rude,” Dan shot back with a smirk and got up carefully, trying his best to not wake Mats up in the process. Once he had placed him back in his bed next to his dad’s, he came back into the living room to a still puzzled Dutch.   
“He hasn’t fallen asleep that quick in ages!” he eyed Daniel with a frown, “tell me your secret!”  
“I’ve just showed you my secret, Maxy,” Dan laughed and shrugged his shoulders in amusement.   
“This can’t be it. It was… It was…”  
“Don’t you dare disrespect my magic lullaby like that every again!”   
“That song isn’t even a lullaby!”   
“So what? It worked. And I’m happy I could help.”   
All Max said was a quiet “thanks” but Dan could spot his gratitude in his whole posture, in the relaxed smile he gave the Aussie and how he was leaning back against the cushions while closing his eyes for a second or two.   
And Dan felt happy with himself, pleased that he had been able to grant the younger one a relaxed evening, maybe the first he had experienced in ages.   
“Maybe it’s magical for real,” he eventually said, shooting Dan a long glance.   
“That’s what I told you, didn’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay but have you SEEN that video of Dan singing that song? It's as close to heaven as any of us will ever get.  
> I think I've lost the link and couldn't find it anymore so if any of you has posted it anywhere, please send me the link :) 
> 
> Plus, I miss Nando around


	6. Chapter 6

Dan wouldn’t have expected to find Mats snoring in his arms any time soon, but just two days later, right when his dad had arrived at the kindergarten to pick him up, Mats had closed his eyes while sitting on Daniel’s lap, eventually falling asleep with his black locks tingling the Aussie’s arm.   
Daniel had seen it in the way Max hadn’t been able to meet his eyes, how his cheeks had flushed a deep red colour once more, too flustered to get any words out when he cleared his throat with a cough.   
Dan grinned at the younger man, pointing at his bag, “My shift is over, so you carry my stuff and take my bike and I’ll bring Mats home. Deal?”   
Apparently relieved that he had not had to speak his question out loud, the Dutch regained a more healthy face colour and nodded quickly, already picking up Daniel’s stuff.   
“Deal!”   
  
This time, Mats did wake up once they had arrived at the Verstappen’s flat, but Max had brushed it off with a smile, kneeling down next to his son who had started to pick up some of his Lego.   
“Want a coffee?” Max had asked without looking up at the Australian, “you’d have to get one yourself, Mats can be very demanding, you know.”  
He had shot Dan a quick smile, who had chuckled at the way Max had let out a pained hiss when Mats had hit his ankle with a Lego stone.   
“Should I get you a Band-Aid as well?” Daniel had asked, chuckling lowly, while pouring himself a cup of coffee and getting Max one of his RedBulls.   
After that, he had had to excuse himself, despite Max’s invitation to stay a little longer.   
“Sorry, I’ve already ditched work the day before yesterday.”   
“You’ve got a busy day,” Max had commented, looking somewhat disappointed.   
“That coming from you…”  
“Mats didn’t sleep well yesterday,” the Dutch added, an involuntary smile creeping onto his face at the thought of Dan’s magic lullaby.   
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dan shrugged his shoulders, taking the final sip of his coffee, “did you try it with the song?”  
Max’s cheeks grew red once again, giving enough of an answer.   
“I guess it’s not the same when it’s not you singing it,” he eventually said, running a hand through his styled hair, the muscles of his arms flexing under his skin.   
  
Daniel was already half out of the apartment, when he turned around in the door frame, a thought suddenly coming to his mind.   
“I could step by after work to see if he’s already fallen asleep,” he offered, looking at the young Dutch expectantly.   
Max’s gaze shot up at the words and he was staring at the Aussie in surprise, seemingly taken aback by his offer.   
“That,” he started, his voice breaking away, “that would be very kind of you, Dan.”   
“Nah, it’s what you do.”   
“No, it’s not. You’ve got two busy jobs and I’m not expecting you to take up a third.”   
Max’s bright eyes were big and honest, something flashing over his face that the Australian wasn’t able to interpret, while he was of the opinion that Max was definitely exaggerating.   
He simply liked to help.   
“No worries, Maxy.”  
“Thanks, I guess?” the Dutch brought up a hand once again, this time to rub his fingers over his neck in a perplexed gesture.    
“I’ll be there at 9!” Dan called before the door fell shut behind him and he made his way to Nando’s.

"So," Fernando said the second Dan had stepped a foot into the flower shop, the Spaniard raising his accurate eyebrows at him in surprise, "care to explain why you no come to work?"  
The older one didn't seem to care about the fact that there were costumers strolling through the shop, looking at the plants, nor that Jenson was rolling his eyes from behind Fernando's back.  
Stoffel eyed the scene only partly curiously, the other half of his attention fixed on the phone in his hands.  
"Yeah, which baby did you play FIFA with?" Jenson asked while nudging Fernando's hips with his own, smirking down at his husband.  
Fernando growled.  
Dan got his name tag from the counter and took the roses Nando was handing him, in order to help him get rid of the thorns to bind them into bouquets.  
Dan started to explain himself with a sigh. Fernando's curiosity would be the end of him one day.  
  
When he had finished his story, a deep frown had appeared on the Spaniard's face.  
"So you indeed got yourself a third job!"  
"I'm helping out a friend!" Dan called out, outraged by the older one's assumption.  
"Dan is an adult, Nando, he knows what he's doing," Stoffel commented without looking up from the screen just once. Daniel nodded at him in appreciation anyway.  
"A friend? How long you know that guy, _hermano_?"  
The Australian rolled his eyes.  
"I'm sure he's a great FRIEND," Jenson stated and wiggled his eyebrows, making an obscene sound with his mouth.  
Daniel stared at him in what probably looked like a horrified way.  
"What?!"  
"Oh come on, Dan. Tell us the whole story!"  
"I'm not... We're not... Whatever you're implying!"  
"Of course you aren't," Jenson said and winked, his eyes lighting up while he chuckled lowly.  
"I haven't even thought of Max like that! Like I said, he's a friend and it's nice to see that I can help him with Mats."  
"Dan is just too nice for this world, Jense, he doesn't want anything in return for his good deeds."  
"Ehm," Dan made, opening and closing his mouth, "thanks Stoffel-waffle."  
"You're welcome," the Belgian answered but was most certainly not listening to the Aussie's words anymore anyway, quickly typing away on his phone.  
"Take phone away!" Fernando hissed at the youngest and Stoffel only bothered to look up and roll his eyes.  
"There aren't any customers here," he said, looking Fernando straight in the eyes, who grew red within a second, helplessly pointing at the several people that were currently strolling through the shop.  
"I swear to God, Stoffel-..."  
"Calm done, Nando. He's just trying to provoke you," Jenson whispered and placed a quick kiss on the Spaniard's shoulder blades.  
"Hell, you're bloody worse than any family with a teenager," Dan muttered, shaking his head at the scene. Stoffel simply smirked at his phone.  
“Max is nice and completely overstrained. That kid is 20, guys! Remember being 20?” the Aussie added, glancing around the room.   
“Most of us weren’t even able to look after ourselves at that time and Max is working full-time most days _and_ has a two years old son. He _needs_ some help.”  
Jenson raised his hands in defence, “Okay, buddy. I’m not trying to take that away from you. I’m just a little worried that _you’ll_ be overstrained by all of it. You’re looking after kids all day for your job, do you really want to continue doing that in your free time?”   
“Oh why, I’m spending lots of time with Stoffel, too, don’t I?” Dan replied with a smirk and said Belgian narrowed his eyes, letting out a snort.   
“Got a point there, no?” Fernando agreed, shooting the youngest a dark glance, who finally slid his phone into the pocket of his jeans but not without another roll of his eyes.   
“And if you’re so worried about me being overworked,” Daniel proposed, grinning widely, “what about you paying me more money for less hours of work, heh?”   
Jenson pulled a face at these words that made the Australian snort loudly, breaking into a fits of giggles.   
“You think you gonna be with this Max tomorrow? You don’t have to come to work then, OK? Kid _needs_ help,” Fernando interrupted them, his face now more serious than before.   
“Thanks, Nando,” Daniel beamed at the Spaniard and pulled him into a loose hug, patting his hair until the older one shoved him back with a low growl.   
“Is fine, no? But is exception!”  
“Yeah, yeah, thanks!”   
  
Daniel decided that it would probably be better to not tell them that he would step by Max again after he’d have finished work.   
  
He did not ring the doorbell once he had arrived at the Verstappen apartment, not knowing whether Mats was already asleep or not. His question was answered quickly when Max opened the door, carrying his son on his arms.   
He smiled when he spotted Daniel.   
“I wasn’t sure whether you’d actually come.”   
“I wanted to text you to ask if Mats was still awake but then I realized, I don’t have your number.”   
“We should change that, then!” Max called, already back in the living room. Daniel followed him and kicked the door close.   
Apparently, the two Verstappens had been playing on the floor, if the chaos was any indicator. Moreover, Dan spotted three empty cans of the younger one’s favourite energy drink standing on a side table.   
He decided not to comment on it this time.   
“Has he eaten?” he asked instead and Max nodded in reply.   
“Already an hour ago. But he doesn’t even look tired.”   
He surely was right about that. Max, on the other hand, had dark spots under his eyes again, his eyelids fluttering shut now and then. Dan gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze.   
“Let me take him…?”   
Max handed over Mats gratefully and their arms brushed against each other in the motion. It made the young Dutch blush and left the Aussie somewhat irritated.   
Mats reached out to touch Dan’s locks once he had settled in his arms and Dan stepped into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of Max’s bed where he started rocking the small one back and forth. Once he had gotten the impression that Mats had at least calmed down a little, he started to sing the song he had sung two days ago and it had the same effect another time. A couple of minutes later, the toddler was peacefully sleeping in Daniel’s arms and he enjoyed the view a little longer, looking down on the small human being in his arms.   
A soft knock made him look up eventually, spotting Max who was leaning in the doorframe, watching the scene. Dan wondered for how long he had been standing there.   
“Is he sleeping?” the younger one mouthed, his voice barely more than a whisper. Dan nodded silently, getting up to place Mats in his own bed.   
“Thanks, Dan,” Max was whispering still once the door of the bedroom door was half-closed, making it possible to hear Mats if he was to wake up another time.   
“You’re welcome,” Daniel replied, a happy smile playing on his lips. Their gazes were interlocked for a couple of seconds, the two of them smiling at each other, until Max cleared his throat and looked away, his gaze first dropping to the floor and then the kitchen.   
“Are you hungry?”  
Daniel hadn’t felt it before, but now that the Dutch was mentioning it, he felt his empty stomach growl. Max smirked.   
After looking into an almost empty fridge and equally empty cupboards, Max shrugged his shoulders apologetically, “I can offer pasta?”   
“Pasta is perfect,” Dan assured him searching for a pot, starting to pour water into a water heater.   
“I somehow didn’t find the time for grocery shopping,” Max explained, turning on the cooker.  
“That’s relatable,” the Aussie replied and they talked some more until the pasta was finished.   
They ate on Max’s couch and Dan had to hide his face away in the cushions to not laugh too loudly when Max failed at rolling his spaghetti with his fork, spilling his food onto the carpet.   
Fortunately, it did not leave any stains and Dan helped with the cleaning up, while Max’s face had grown red once again.   
It was almost midnight when Dan eventually left with a full stomach and ribs that hurt from suppressing his laughter, smiling dumbly when Max waved him goodbye from the bedroom window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I wasn't able to update this fic last week but here's another chapter!   
> I hope you enjoyed it :)


	7. Chapter 7

“Seriously, how can anyone be that good at FIFA?” Dan asked the next day, after he had put Mats to sleep, when him and Max were sitting on the Dutch’s couch, deeply invested into the third round of the game.   
Max laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “The real question is; how can anyone be that bad at FIFA?”  
“Now that’s just rude,” Dan commented and pouted his lips, drawing a low giggle from the younger one.   
“We’ve played like, what, 50 matches? You haven’t won a single one!”   
“You’re too good!”   
“Nah, Dan, you’re simply godawful.”   
The Australian snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest, glancing at the younger one who had drawn in his legs, resting his chin on top of his knees.   
“Well, maybe I am, but it’s not a fair competition anyway, is it? You’ve got way more practise.”   
“I’m sure it has nothing to do with that, Dan. It’s FIFA, not rocket science.”   
“I’d beat you if I played it as often as you do!”   
Max raised his eyebrows, amusement sparkling in his bright eyes, “You’ll never beat me.”   
“We’ll see,” replied sulkily and Max laughed once again, a soft sound that wasn’t too loud nor too restrained but just right. Totally unlike his own laugh, Dan thought, which was rather disruptive.   
Eventually, Max caught his bottom lip with his teeth to stop it from trembling caused by his laughter and Dan’s gaze dropped for a second.   


The following day, Mats did not fall asleep before Max picked him up, so Daniel didn’t accompany the two Verstappens home but went straight to Nando’s to work his shift.   
However, he planned on stepping by after his job was done but not without doing some grocery shopping, as his fridge he hadn’t eaten that much from anyway the last days, was particularly empty. When he stood in front of the Pasta display in the closest Albert Heijn supermarket, Dan had to think of Max’s and his meal the previous evening and without giving it a second thought, the Aussie added some more items to his shopping basket.   
  
“For you!” he exclaimed once Max had opened the door, looking a little startled when Dan pushed a bag of groceries into his empty hands.   
“For me…?” the Dutch repeated and frowned, glancing into the bag to spot several different boxed of noodles, bread, vegetables and the oats Dan knew he used to prepare Mats’ food.   
The younger one’s lips parted, looking stunned.   
“Th-thank you, Dan? I don’t know what to say.”   
His cheeks flushed in a deep shade of red, making Dan wonder whether he had accidently embarrassed the young father.   
“You said you didn’t find the time to go for grocery shopping, so I thought…”   
Max cut him off by shaking his head, “It’s really kind of you, Daniel. You wouldn’t have to do that, though, you know?”   
The Aussie stepped into the room, giving Max’s muscular shoulder a quick squeeze.   
“But I really wanted to.”   
Max blushed some more and smiled tentatively, closing the door behind Daniel.   
“Thanks again.”   
“I’ll cook something for us, okay?” Dan proposed and Max looked delighted, pointing to the kitchen.   
“Feel free to make yourself at home!”  
  
Half an hour later, they were eating dinner while kneeling on the floor, their bowls on their knees, since Mats was really insistent on wanting to play with his toy trains.   
“This is good!” Max said when he had taken the first spoon of Dan’s veggie stew, looking somewhat surprised.   
“So I am better than you at something, after all,” Dan shot back with a grin while the Dutch was blowing cool air over his bowl.   
“Never said you weren’t,” Max replied and chuckled, stifling a yawn with the sleeve of his shirt.   
Daniel quickly glanced at the clock at the TV, telling him that 10pm had already passed.   
“I guess it’s bedtime for Mats,” he said once they had finished their dinner and got up, Max following his motion.   
“Will you…?” the young Dutch started, his cheeks growing red while he was gesticulating in the direction of the bedroom.   
“Of course,” Dan gave him a gentle smile, picking up the toddler in the meantime.   
“Up for a round of FIFA afterwards?” Max asked, yet had to suppress another yawn at the same time.   
“If you won’t fall asleep before that?”   
Max snorted, pointing at the RedBull that was standing on the couch table. Dan rolled his eyes.   
  
He had just sat down with Mats on the edge of the king size bed, when Mats looked up at him with big eyes.   
“Dan,” he said, reaching out to touch the Aussie’s nose.   
“Yeah, buddy?”  
Mats yawned, in exactly the same way as his dad had done minutes ago.   
“Water?”   
“You’re thirsty? Wanna drink something?” Daniel asked and Mats nodded.   
“Tirsty,” he repeated, not getting the word completely right which drew a smile from the Aussie.   
“Okay, let’s get you some water.”   
Dan got up once more, carrying the little one in his arms.   
He wasn’t exactly surprised to find Max asleep on the couch when they entered the living room, but he had to shake his head at the sight nonetheless. The Dutch was sprawled across the sofa, his hands tugged under his cheek in an almost child-like gesture and God, he looked so incredibly young, it tugged on Daniel’s heart.   
He stood frozen in the doorframe and could not tell for how long he had been doing so, simply watching the other man’s face, peaceful and relaxed in its sleep.   
But eventually, Mats started babbling and snapped the Australian out of his thoughts. Afterwards, he hurried to get Mats his water from the kitchen, afraid that the kid would wake Max up. And the Dutch seemed to need his sleep, so Dan would have to make sure that Mats was actually asleep before leaving and going back home.   
He rearranged some of the sheets on Max’s bed, folding a woollen blanket and placing it on a sideboard to lay down next to Mats’ bed, whom he had placed in it.   
  
This day, it took a little longer than the previous evenings until Mats would eventually fall asleep and Dan tried to keep his singing volume to a minimum, in order to not risk waking Max up with it.  
Mats had held on to his pinky finger while falling asleep, which was the reason why Dan stayed a little longer once he had heard soft snores coming from the toddler. He feared he would wake up again if Daniel let go of him now, not yet so deep asleep that he wouldn't realize it.  
And the Australian was set on making sure that Mats would sleep on once Dan would have left, knowing well enough how exhausted Max was and that he would be struggling with putting his son back to sleep if he woke up again.  
So Dan told himself he'd stay for 15 more minutes or so.  
  
What he did not plan on was that he would fall asleep while watching over Mats.  
But rapidly, he was lulled into sleep as well by the toddler's even breathing and Max's comfortable sheets, caressed by the soft breeze that was coming in from the opened bedroom window.  
  
When Dan woke up, he was disoriented at first, not knowing where he was. In the darkness of the room, he couldn't make out any details and the dark shades weren't too familiar either.  
Memories eventually only came back when his hand hit the railing of a small bed, which he could then identify as Mats'.  
So he was at their flat.  
Had fallen asleep in Max's bed.  
Oh Lord.  
Daniel let out a groan and his gaze shot to his left side, but the other half of the bed was still empty.  
However, he was surprised to find the woollen blanket which he had placed on a sideboard the evening before draped over his body, making him feel way too comfortable and wrapped up in warmth.  
And Dan was definitely too tired to give it a second thought, his eyelids already fluttering shut once again, his cheeks hitting the fluffy pillow that smelled of Max's aftershave, the scent of it lulling Dan back to sleep.  
  
The next time that he woke up, he was woken by his usual alarm clock on his phone, which was still hidden away somewhere in the depths of the pocket of his jeans.  
By now the room was illuminated by the golden morning sun and when Daniel cracked an eye open and then another, his gaze wandered to Mats' bed, which was empty.  
So Max had to be awake already.  
Feeling heat creeping up his back, a blush spreading on his face, Daniel left the bed and straightened the sheets.  
He ran a hand through his curls, which had to be a complete mess right now, and found the young Dutch in the kitchen, his back turned on him.  
The Aussie cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks still burning hot.  
"Morning," Max was grinning when he turned around, his gaze roaming over Daniel, who still tried his best to tame his hair.  
"Slept well?" the younger one asked and pushed a cup of steaming hot coffee into Daniel's surprised hands.  
The smell of it made the Australian feel better immediately.  
"I-..." he opened and closed his mouth, his attention caught by the amused smile that was playing on Max's lips.  
"I'm sorry I made you sleep on the couch in your very own apartment," Dan eventually managed to croak out and wouldn't have expected Max to chuckle, but it was a pleasant sound.  
"I don't really care where I sleep as long as I can catch some sleep at all," Max explained and pointed at the bar stools.  
The both of them had a seat, Daniel still embarrassed while sipping on his surprisingly strong coffee.  
  
 And Dan wouldn't have expected to find himself in that situation ever again, given how flustered he was by all of it, except it happened in almost exactly the same way the following day again.  
Only that time, it was not Max who fell asleep firstly, but apparently Dan, who found himself in Max's bed again when he was woken up by his phone's alarm.  
And just like the day before, the Dutch had already prepared coffee when the Aussie came into the kitchen, ready to shove it into the older one's hands with an amused sparkle in his eyes.  
"Can I use your shower?" Daniel asked, still a little flustered but way more comfortable than the day before.  
Max really didn't seem to mind, given how he was feeding Mats without giving Dan another glance.  
"Sure, fresh towels are in the drawer at the top!"  
  
It was only natural that Dan would be taking Mats to the kindergarten, as he was obviously heading there anyway, sparing Max the extra walk. The Aussie did not even have to propose that, when it was time to leave, both of their gazes dropped to Mats before finding each other’s, Max nodding softly at the older one.   
"Have a nice day, daddy will pick you up after work," Max whispered to his son, who was already on Daniel's arms, and placed a soft kiss on top of his head.  
"Are you working at the shop today?" Max then asked, grabbing his keys from a cupboard.  
Daniel shook his head, "No, I'm free on Fridays."  
Max smiled, "Then I'll pick up the both of you? Grab a coffee and go the park or something?"  
Dan thought about it, beaming at the Dutch, "I'd love to! Mind if I ask my best friend Lewis to come along?"  
"The more, the better," Max replied and smiled.  
When Daniel stepped out of the house with Mats, he spotted Max in the kitchen window, apparently picking up his stuff he would need for work and something in Daniel's stomach felt oddly out of place, tugging softly at his tummy.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts on Max's fatherhood and the dymanics between Dan, Max and Mats :)   
> ~ Johanna


	8. Chapter 8

Dan had sent Lewis a text message, asking him if he wanted to join him and the Verstappens for a late afternoon/early evening at Westerpark.   
He had to do a bit of persuasion work and Dan suspected that Lewis had had different plans for the evening, probably including a certain green-eyed blond. The Aussie forced himself to keep calm and talk to him about it later, the backstory of Lewis and his ex constantly a heavy weight on the Britain’s shoulders.   
  
As promised, Max picked Mats and him up once his shift was over.   
“Brought my bike today as well,” Max said, stating the obvious while pointing at a black bike with a child seat on the pannier rack.   
“I guess it’s not your preferred ride,” Dan chuckled, thinking of the young Dutch’s history in racing sports. Max, on the other hand, shrugged his shoulders and buckled up Mats in the children’s seat.   
“It’s rather difficult to pick up this one in an F3 car.”   
“I reckon it is.”   
  
It was another beautiful day in Amsterdam, the sun up high in a crystal clear sky, the temperatures just right for the Australian and his tanned skin, being of Italian heritage from his father’s side.   
Given that it was July, the streets were filled with tourists, though many of them were usually just coming to the city for a daytrip while actually staying in the countryside or by the sea, meaning that the hurly-burly would die down later that day.   
  
“That friend of yours, what’s his name again?” Max asked while they were cycling down the streets, alongside the channels.   
“Lewis. His name is Lewis.”   
“Is he coming, too?”   
“Seems like it. If his ex isn’t getting in the way for the, like, thousandth time.”   
Max let out a chuckle, skilfully swerving a group of tourists that had stopped in the middle of the street.   
“Watch out!” Max called after them in Dutch and Daniel laughed at their outraged faces, probably not having understood anything at all.   
“So, his ex-girlfriend? What’s up with them?”   
“Boyfriend,” Dan corrected casually, but for some reason found himself watching Max’s reaction closely, almost hitting the curb side in the process. The Dutch shot him a quick look of surprise and when he found Dan watching him, he averted his gaze swiftly. Was he blushing?   
“With his boyfriend, then.”   
“ _Ex_ -boyfriend,” Dan insisted and Max nodded along with it, “really important to remind Lewis of that, believe me.”   
“So?”   
“It’s really complicated. Like, really _really_ complicated. They met as kids, both of them really ambitious runners, striving for a triathlon career. Lewis is in fact still competing at Iron Man races.”   
“Whoa, that’s cool,” Max said, looking clearly impressed.   
“Yeah, it is. So, Lewis and his guy, Nico, were like great friends, the best of friends. They did everything together, each workout and stuff.”   
“What happened?”   
“Well,” Dan said and shook his head, “Lewis has always been in love with Nico. Always. And Nico loves Lewis too, in some way, I guess.”   
“So what’s the problem?” Max asked in confusion.   
“The problem is that he never has and never will love Lewis more than he loved his girlfriend at the time,” Dan shot Max a look, “who is now his wife and mother of his daughters.”   
Max’s eyes widened and he bit down on his bottom lip.   
“And Lewis loves him still?”   
“Sure he does. It’s always been Nico for him. And that fucker just can’t let go of Lewis, getting his hopes up again and again. But he would never leave Vivian for Lewis.”  
“That’s a really fucking sad story,” Max mumbled, a deep frown appearing on his face.   
“Sorry, I didn’t want to crash the mood,” Dan smiled apologetically, cycling around another group of tourists, “and don’t get me wrong, Nico is the evil, the Anti-Christ, the devil in disguise, but he’s also a really nice guy, which makes it so much harder for everyone.”  
“So they can’t live with nor without each other?” Max assumed and hit close to home by doing so.   
“Exactly.”   
“So how did you and Lewis meet?”   
Dan thought back of it, how he had met the Brit for the first time.   
“I met him through Nando and Jenson, the owners of the flower shop I work at. Lewis and his family moved here from Britain when Lewis was five and Jenson is from Britain too, their families are friends.”   
For some reason that was rather subconscious than anything else, Dan held back the information that the four of them had actually met at gay pride all these years ago.   
“I actually asked my best friend to come along as well, hope that’s fine,” Max said almost sheepishly and Daniel beamed at him.   
“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be?”   
“I don’t know,” Max said, as if he couldn’t come up with a reason now that he was thinking about it.   
“We’re a friendly bunch,” Dan replied and laughed, causing Max to grin.   
“I’ve learned that much when you basically moved in with me.”   
Dan chuckled, smiling at the younger one while they had stopped their bikes, now walking them into the park.   
“I’ve always wanted a flat mate,” the Aussie said in amusement, strolling down the path that was leading to the channel in the centre of the park, almost like a lake with grass areas on each side of it, already filling up with groups of people and couples.   
“Great, you can have the spare bedroom.”   
Dan laughed, until Max didn’t laugh along with him. He stared at the Dutch, who was catching his gaze, a challenging look sparkling in his bright eyes.   
“You’re serious,” Dan stated, stunned by the realization. They stopped walking and Dan leaned back against his bike, staring at the younger one.   
“You actually want me to move in with you.”   
The challenging look in Max’s eyes was gone now, his gaze dropping to the ground while his cheeks were flushing red, looking all flustered all of a sudden.   
“Sorry, it was a stupid idea.”   
Dan didn’t know what to reply, because _yes_ , it was a stupid idea. A stupidly appealing one nonetheless. Now where was that coming from?  
“I-…” he opened and closed his mouth without proper words coming out, Max obviously growing more and more uncomfortable as time grew on, “let’s do it.”   
“What?!” Max called out, eyes widening.   
“Let’s do it,” Dan repeated and shrugged his shoulders, “really, why shouldn’t we?”   
“Why _should_ we?” Max shot back, apparently doubting his own proposal more and more.   
“No, Maxy, why _shouldn’t_ we? We get along, you’re not a complete jerk – believe me, I’ve had it worse with flat mates – and I’ve never liked living alone anyways. Plus, you obviously need some help with Mats.”  
“But we can’t just _move in_ together, Dan.”   
“Says who?” the Aussie asked, suddenly very hooked on the idea.   
When Max avoided his gaze, the older one stepped a little closer, his hand coming to rest on the Dutch’s arms in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.   
“What’s wrong, Maxy?”   
When the younger one looked up, his gaze was roaming over Daniel’s face quickly.  
“Please don’t feel responsible for me. Please.”   
Daniel’s eyes widened at the words. Max was looking lost, once again seeming like the kid who had just grown into his broad adult body, not yet completely adjusting to it.   
And since Daniel didn’t know what to say, could not find the right words for the life of him, he stepped in and pulled Max into a hug.   
The Dutch seemed surprised at first, letting out a huff of air against Daniel’s shoulder, as they were about the same height.   
But Max then wrapped his arms around Daniel’s slim waist, tightening the hug.   
Daniel only realized that he had closed his eyes when they eventually parted, gazes interlocked, his parted slightly.   
“Thank you,” Max whispered below his breath and Dan wasn’t sure what he was thanking him for, but he patted Max on the back one last time before letting go of him.   
  
They walked in silence for the next couple of minutes, Max being more quiet than he had ever been, Dan more confused than before, until they reached the spot where they had agreed to meet at.   
Lewis was already waiting for them, lying flat on his stomach without a shirt, eyes closed, showing off his massive back tattoo.   
The dark angelic wings on each of his shoulder blades, spreading down to the small of his back, inked into only slightly brighter skin, the words “Still I Rise” written across his muscular shoulders.   
As usual, he was wearing his diamond earrings and a golden necklace which was sparkling in the sun, along with Tommy Hilfiger jeans that probably cost more than Dan earned in a whole month.   
Without any warning, he dug his fingers into that spot between Lewis’ ribs and hip, causing the Brit to jump up and let out a shriek.   
“Bloody hell, Dan!”   
Dan almost bent over in laughter, Lewis shaking his head while pulling him into a tight hug.   
“Long time no see,” the older one said before eyeing Max curiously, who was currently getting Mats out of his seat.   
“Lewis, that’s Max and his son Mats. Max, that’s Lewis.”   
“Hey,” Lewis said and greeted Max with a handshake.   
“Oh my God, he’s so cute!” the Brit breathed once he had spotted Mats, who was now sitting on the grass.   
The rest of them sat down round him, Lewis extending a jewelled hand.   
Mats took it without hesitating, wrapping his hand around one of Lewis’ fingers, who let out a low squeak.   
“He loves children. Absolutely adores them. Kids and dogs, that’s Lewis’ thing,” Daniel explained and Max smiled fondly, clearly proud of his son for simply existing.   
“You’ve got dogs?” the Dutch asked, having a look around.   
“Yes, Roscoe and Coco. But they’re with a friend of mine most of the time, I’m working a lot, you know. And when Dan said that you’re bringing a baby, I wasn’t sure if you’d be fine with me bringing my dogs. They’re friendly, but sometimes don’t know when to stop playing around,” Lewis explained and Max nodded thankfully.   
“Yeah, Dan’s told me you’re a triathlete. Iron Man?”  
Lewis shot Daniel a look, as if he was surprised that the Aussie had told the youngest anything about him at all.   
“Yes, but it’s not enough to make a living out if. At least not yet.”   
“Got a second job?”   
Lewis flashed the Dutch a grin, “More like a first job. I’m working with a design agency.”   
“Really? What are you designing?”   
The Brit gave Max a look, asking if it wasn’t obvious.   
“Clothes!”   
“Lewis surely has his unique style,” Daniel said with a chuckle and wrapped an arm around the Brit’s shoulder.

Max was playing around with Mats on the grass, Lewis watching them fondly while Dan had mirrored the older one’s former position, lying down on his stomach to catch some rays of sunlight, enjoying the warmth on his skin.   
He wasn’t sure whether he had fallen asleep or not, nor how much time had passed since they had arrived, but when he opened his eyes again, he found an unfamiliar face staring down at him.   
“Whoa!” he made and sat up in a hurry, looking at the dark haired man with equally dark eyes who couldn’t hold back a snort.   
“Hey!” the stranger said and reached out a hand, his accent evident from just the single word, “I’m Carlos.”   
“I’m Dan,” the Aussie replied perplexedly and frowned.   
“He’s the friend I told you about,” Max helped, having sat down next to Dan while he had apparently been asleep.   
“Ah yes,” Daniel nodded and rubbed his eyes, smiling at Max’s friend.   
“Carlos you said?”   
“Everyone calls him Chili, anyway.”   
“Chili? How comes that?”   
The Spaniard cracked a smile and Max let out a low chuckle at the same time.   
“Now, that’s a really complicated story.”   
“Well, I’m glad to meet you then, Chili.”   
“Same,” the dark haired stated, shooting Max a long glance, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”   
Had he?   
Dan’s gaze caught Max’s, who was blushing once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing quickly with Max and Dan... what are your thoughts on this? :) 
> 
> In case you've read some of my other stories, you probably know by now that I'm not able to keep brocedes out of anything so... haha


	9. Chapter 9

Both Carlos and Lewis seemed to be equally surprised when Max told them with glowing red cheeks that him and Dan had decided to move in together.  
Following a synchronized "what?!" from their best friends, Max's gaze had found Daniel's, looking for reassurance in his eyes.  
Lewis had fake-coughed then, a devious sparkle lighting up in his dark eyes, "It certainly makes things easier, doesn't it."  
The word _things_ was underlined by an obscene popping of his lips that made Dan's cheeks heat up, watching the young Dutch closely.  
But the father had either not been listening to Lewis properly or he hadn't understood what the Brit had been all about, for his face did not give anything away.  
Carlos on the other hand, was giving Dan odd looks, who felt like he just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Or Lewis, for the better, given how he didn't stop with his implications for the next half an hour or so, Carlos' strange looks growing more and more intense while Max did not seem to get any of it.  
  
Eventually, when Daniel had had enough, Lewis making a really bad pun on _sucking_ , Daniel had finally had enough.  
"Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, giving the Brit his darkest of looks.  
"With me? I figured it wasn't me you wanted to-..."  
"Shut up, Lewis!"  
He dragged his best friend up, who had broken into a fits of giggles, while Dan ignored Max's confused gaze and pulled Lewis along with him.  
  
"What is this all about, Lewis?!" he asked once he had brought enough distance between him and Lewis and the other two men.  
"What is what about?" the older one asked, a smirk playing on his lips that didn't go well with his innocent question.  
"We're not shagging."  
"Of course you're not," Lewis replied and had the decency to wink at the Australian.  
"Lewis," Daniel repeated in a calm voice, boiling on the inside, "Max and me are not a thing."  
"Sure," the Brit snorted and tilted his head, "don't even try to fool me, Danny boy."  
"I'm not!"  
"You are!"  
"Bloody hell, Lewis!" Dan eventually called out, the older one jumping from the sudden loudness, "I don't fuck Max!"  
Lewis' brown eyes widened and his gaze turned away from him.  
"I think he heard that."  
"What?!"  
Daniel turned around himself and indeed found the two younger one's staring at them.  
"Fuck, I hope he didn't."  
"So HE fucks YOU?" Lewis asked, already back to whatever bullshit that was obviously going on in his mind.  
"I'm not interested in Max! He's not interested in me either! We're friends!"  
The older Brit snorted once again, his hand coming to rest on Daniels shoulder.  
"That kid is looking at you as if he wants to eat you up alive, Daniel. He's interested."  
"He's not," Dan insisted, shaking his head. What was Lewis even talking about?  
"Oh, he is and deep down inside," Lewis placed a jewelled finger on the younger one's chest, "you know it."  
Dan kept on shaking his head. He wasn't even thinking of such things.  
"He's not even gay," he said instead.  
"You cannot know that. Have you asked him?"  
He obviously hadn't. And why would he?!  
"He has a child!"  
Lewis' eyes narrowed and a shadow flashed over his face.  
"So does Nico."  
  
For a second, Daniel was taken aback by the pain in his best friend's eyes and could help but pull him into a tight hug.  
"Anything new?" he whispered once Lewis had wrapped his arms around his back.  
"He wants to meet up. Says we have stuff to talk about," Lewis answered, letting out a sigh.  
"Want me to talk to him for you?"  
The Brit scuffed, "What would you tell him, anyway? That I can't live with nor without him?"  
"I could punch him in his pretty face from you. Give him a bit of a broken nose or something. To ruin his suits."  
Lewis chuckled softly and brought distance between them.  
"I understand that you think Nico would deserve that-..."  
"Yeah, because he does, mate."  
Lewis bit down on his lip, eventually shaking his head.  
"Maybe you're right. But Nico isn't the only one to blame."  
"So you're seeing him again?"  
Lewis shrugged his shoulders, looking miserable.  
"I miss him, Dan. Like hell."  
  
And Dan understood. Because that was how it had always been with Nico and Lewis. A love stronger than most and yet so fragile that it was shattered by the smallest of things. A love of a lifetime that was yet not meant to be.  
  
"But back to you, Danny," Lewis eventually stated and was back into smirking mode within seconds.  
"So, was it love at first sight or did it take you some days to figure it out?"  
Daniel, growing annoyed by his best friend's implications, answered impatiently, "To figure out what?"  
Lewis rolled his eyes, as if it was more than obvious.  
"That you've got a crush on him, of course."  
"A crush?" he repeated, staring at his friend.  
"I could also say that you are in love with him, if that would make it easier for you," he was winking once again while Dan was pretty much gulping.  
He wasn't in love with Max!  
"I'm not in love with Max!" was therefore what he said out loud. Lewis, apparently, didn't buy a word of it.  
"Come on, Dan. You agreed to move in with him. After what - barely more than a week? That's crazy. Even for you."  
"But that doesn't mean I'm in love with him! He's twenty!"  
"So?" Lewis shrugged his shoulders, "he's a nice guy. Handsome, if one's into broad backs and jawlines."  
  
Daniel tried not to think about it too much for the rest of the evening. Tried to not give it too much of a though either when they said goodbye to Lewis and Carlos, both of them riding their bikes back to Max's apartment because Mats had not fallen asleep yet and really, Dan would move in soon anyway, so where was the big deal?  
  
He also tried not to think about it when he was lulling Mats to sleep, sitting on the edge of Max's bed once again while the young Dutch was standing in the door frame, watching him doing so.  
He tried not to think of it when Max stepped into the room to press a light kiss to his sleeping son's forehead, his cheek brushing against Daniel's naked arm in the process.  
  
This time, he didn't fall asleep in the younger one's bed and therefore would take the couch. Max brought him an extra blanket and a fresh glass of water which he placed on the side table and then wished him a good night, hovering in the door frame for a few seconds, as if he wanted to say something else but kept quiet eventually.  
  
Dan could not find any sleep that night. He witnessed how hours passed without him finding any rest, rethink and freaking out over Lewis' words.  
Lewis was mostly just right about these kind of things and yet, how could he be, if Dan clearly wasn't in love with Max? Or was he? He just did not know, could not.  
And if he was, what would that mean? No way in hell he could move in with the young Dutch while knowing that they would never be more than just friends. Which was what they were. What Dan wanted them to be. Or...?  
Yes, he liked the younger one. And yes, he liked him a lot, more than he liked most people after such a short period of time. And he liked Mats, adored the little boy, but how could one not?  
And Max needed his help. Because they were friends. Friends friends friends.  
  
He remembered that with Lewis and Nico, everything had started out as friends as well and how fucked up everything was now and then he kind of panicked, mind you.  
But he would have realized if he had been falling in love with Max, wouldn't he? What kind of a person would miss something that big?  
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
Daniel literally almost fell off the couch when Max's raspy voice suddenly filled the room and he let out a shocked breath.  
Not wanting Max to know why he had been tossing and turning, Dan made up the simplest excuse he could think of.  
"No, your couch is hella uncomfortable. It's killing my back."  
"Oh," Max whispered, sounding genuinely sorry, "you could... I mean... there's enough room for two?"  
It took Dan a moment to understand that Max wanted to share his bed with him and the thought alone knocked all remaining oxygen out of his lungs.  
But declining the kind offer right now would be just rude, so Dan got up with his heart beating in his throat, gathering his blanket, and stumbled behind Max, following the younger one into the darkness of his bed room.  
Max, naturally, was sleeping on the side of the bed where Daniel had slept the previous nights, the closest spot to his son, so the Aussie crawled into bed next to him.  
  
Shouldn't this feel weird? Dan asked himself once he had slid under the blanket, drawing in the scent of the younger man while he tried his best to bring as much distance between them as possible while not making it too obvious.  
But then again, why should it? He had shared much smaller beds with his other friends before and it had never felt weird, why would it do with Max now?  
And yet-...  
  
The next day, Daniel was woken up because it was warm, way too warm, even for his Australian taste.  
And when he cracked his eyes open, he found what was the source of it. Or rather, _who_ was the source of it.  
He could not tell who had started cuddling the other one throughout the night, but Max's head was resting on Dan's shoulder, who had wrapped his arms around the younger one's strong body.  
The Dutch's hair, all soft from not having any products in them at night, was tingling the Aussie's neck and saliva was drooling from his mouth, wetting Daniel's t-shirt.  
And as if that was not enough, Daniel then realized that he was hard.  
And that their legs had somehow entangled throughout the night and with the way they were facing each other, their groins were pressed together.  
  
Dan let out a sharp breath and closed his eyes in horror when he felt Max moving against him in his sleep.  
Bringing the realization that he was not the only one with a problem _down there_.  
Oh God.   
This could not actually be happening to him right now. And it did not seem like his problem would fade any time soon, quite the opposite, actually.   
  
His eyes shot open once again, almost expecting Max to be blinking up at him with his confused and bright eyes, but the other one was still sleeping tightly, his wet lips parted slightly.  
And Dan knew that Mats could wake up any time, make some noises that would bring Max back to consciousness again, and that would surely be the end of whatever friendship they had established.  
  
So Dan got up in a rush, not caring whether Max would wake up in the process, only relieved when he had closed the bathroom door behind him, breathing heavily.  
He was not in love with Max. No way. He would have known.  
  
It did not really help when his mind was bringing up the image of Max's wet lips again and again while Dan was in the shower.  
Nor did it help how he could not stop thinking of how such a short movement of the Dutch’s hips against his had managed to get him to this point, jerking off in a shower while he had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop a small moan from dropping from his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he he he
> 
> So much happening in this chaper!   
> Brocedes is (as usual) my favourite part!  
> What's yours?


	10. Chapter 10

Given how it was Saturday and neither Dan nor Max would have to attend work, the prospect of spending a whole day with the Dutch upon his newest realization caused the Aussie to panic.  
Okay, so MAYBE he WAS crushing on the younger one.  
Who could blame him?  
Max was funny and kind and Daniel simply felt GOOD when the young father laughed, especially when knowing that he was the reason for it.  
But a silly crush was nothing to freak out over. Hell, Dan had even had a crush on Jenson in their early years but it had worn off quickly, so why shouldn't that be the case with Max as well?  
So was it actually more than just a crush? Had Lewis been right with his blunt assumption? Was Daniel really falling in love with the kid?  
And if yes, what was he falling in love with?  
  
He had to sit down on the edge of the bath tub with his face in his hands when images started flooding his mind, of the way Max would stand in the doorway watching over him and Mats, of the way Max would snort at Daniel's comments about his energy drink consume, that sparkle in his eyes when he would beat the Aussie at FIFA for the hundredth time in a row.  
But what really made Dan feel like someone had punched him in the guts were the memories of the exhaustion in the younger one's eyes after a long day, the helplessness when he couldn't think of anything else to do to comfort Mats.  
The gratefulness and disbelief when Daniel had managed to lull the little one to sleep for the first time.  
It had barely been a week since Dan had started coming over in the evenings but it already felt like a lifetime, making it impossible for him to imagine his days without laughing on Max's couch, Mats slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms.  
  
So he was fucked. And not in a good way.  
  
It wasn't exactly easy to act normal when they had their usual shared breakfast/coffee/Red Bull snack.  
Daniel could not stop staring at Max, wondering how he hadn't SEEN any of this before and was more than glad that the Dutch was busy feeding Mats most of the time, anyway.  
  
So when Max asked him about his plans for the day, Dan tried to play it cool, not quite managing to meet the younger one's eyes.  
"Uhm. I guess I'll step by Nando's."  
"Don't you have a day off?"  
"Uh," Dan made and tried to look anywhere but the genuine interest in the Dutch's eyes. And was there also a hint of disappointment?  
He was probably just seeing things.  
"My co-worker called in sick."  
"Stoffel? The guy from Belgium?"  
"Exactly."  
Max smiled, "Have I told you that I was actually born in Belgium as well?"  
"N-no you haven't," Daniel stuttered and started to feel uncomfortable under Max's bright gaze, feeling his neck growing hot from it.  
"So now you know," he laughed softly and fed Mats the last spoon of his food.  
"When will you be leaving?"  
"Uhm. In about 10 minutes, I guess."  
"Oh, ok."  
  
They were staring at each other for several seconds, gazes interlocked, until Dan had to swallow a big lump in his throat, averting his eyes.  
The cleaned up the kitchen in silence and Max waved him good bye when he headed out.  
  
His heart was racing all the way to the flower shop, thoughts pacing through his head, and when Daniel stepped into NANDOS, he bumped into someone.  
"Hey! Watch out!"  
"What are you doing here?" he asked perplexed.  
"What are YOU doing here?" Lewis shot back, crossing his arms in front of his chest with a smirk playing on his lips.  
"I work here."  
"Not on Saturdays, though. Can't I visit my good friends Jenson and Fernando?"  
Daniel narrowed his eyes, "Your date with Nico. It's today, isn't it?"  
Lewis rolled his eyes, letting out a groan while stepping aside to make room for the Australian.  
"What if it is?"  
"You're buying him flowers? That's literally the equivalent to begging on your knees for him to finally break up with Vivian."  
For a second, Dan was afraid that he had crossed a boundary with his words, almost ready to apologize, when the sparkle in Lewis' dark eyes proved him wrong.  
"Dude, I wouldn't mind being down on my knees that much."  
"Spare me!" Dan called and raised his hands, shaking his head.  
"Oh, as if you won't ask for all the details later on!" Lewis shot back the moment Fernando stepped behind the counter.  
His eyes lit up when he spotted sight of the Aussie.  
"Dan! Not expect you here today, no? You change shift with Stoffel?"  
Daniel shook his head.  
"I'm-..."  
"Yes, Danny boy, tell us why you're here at this early hour of the day. It doesn't have anything to do with that Verstappen kid, does it?" Lewis teased, his bright teeth dazzling white when he grinned.  
Yeah, why was Daniel here?  
  
Somehow, Nando had always been a particularly good listener. Giving quality advice while not being too noisy about things, at least when they didn't include Stoffel.  
Lewis, on the other hand, was already eyeing the Australian curiously, several questions glistering in his dark eyes.  
"Max? The young father you help?" Fernando asked, looking from Lewis to Dan back and forth, "I miss something."  
Daniel let out a sigh.  
"Tell him, Danny."  
"You're the one who said that-..."  
Lewis interrupted him with a more serious look on his face.  
"Yeah, but you thought about what I said, didn't you? Must have been a short night."  
Dan sat down on the sofa next to the counter, hiding his face away in his palms with his shoulders slumping forward.  
"The night was okay," he mumbled, "except for the part where we shared a bed and I woke up with a hard on that was rubbing against Max's."  
"Qué?!" Fernando asked the same time that Lewis exhaled a breathless "what?!".  
Slowly, Daniel lifted his fingers from his eyes and looked at his two friends.  
Then, he told them what had happened at night, how he had not been able to fall asleep and made up an excuse, leading to him and Max sharing a bed in the end.  
  
"Whoa," Lewis made once he had finished, running a hand through his short locks.  
"Yeah," Daniel's throat was feeling way too tight and dry.  
"So I suspected you were crushing on him but damn Danny, you've got it worse."  
Fernando, who had been suspiciously quiet throughout Daniel's story, eventually cleared his throat.  
"So you need to find out if he likes you back."  
"I don't even know if he likes men!"  
"My gaydar-..."  
"Fuck your gaydar, Lewis. Your gaydar is about as accurate as Nando's grammar."  
That earned him two sulking glances and a Spanish snort but at least Lewis didn't argue with him about it.  
"If I have learned anything, then is that you need have courage, no? Ask him, Dan. Maybe he likes you," Fernando proposed.  
"Nando's right. What could you lose?"  
Daniel sighed, staring down at his feet.  
"Too much, Lewis."  
"So you want to continue like that? Move in with him and pretend you're just friends?"  
"I don't even know that much about my own feelings yet!

So over the course of the next days, Dan was watching the Dutch closely, while trying his best to not reveal much of his intentions.  
And he couldn't deny how his heart always jumped a beat whenever Max was waiting for him with a cup of coffee in the morning, or how he kept on doing Dan small favours.  
And the Aussie could also not stop wondering if that was to mean something or if he was just wishing for Max to like him back.  
The Dutch was being kind. But was it more than that?  
They had fallen back into the routine of Max sleeping on the couch while Dan would fall asleep in the younger one's bed after calming Mats without even talking much about it.  
Max had once mentioned that they should maybe ask some of their friends to help them get Daniel's stuff and Dan had answered that he would have to make a few calls to the owners of his rented apartment, but that had been it.  
And Dan liked their routine, liked it more than anything.  
  
Waking up to Max's coffee and falling asleep to Mats' soft snoring, coming back from work to poorly cooked pasta and either video games or LEGO with Max's son.  
And with all the blushing that Max was still doing, Lewis' words kept on nudging on his mind, never shutting up about the question if Max maybe, possibly, could feel the same.  
  
Which meant that Daniel indeed got his hopes up, of course he did.  
He sometimes felt like Max hold on just a few seconds longer than necessary when they hugged for good byes in the morning or caught the younger one staring at him from the corner of his eyes while playing FIFA.  
Once Mats had accidentally splattered his juice on Daniel's shirt and Max had gotten all flustered when Dan had undressed in front of him, let alone how he had felt the Dutch's gaze on him throughout the whole evening, wearing one of Max's too big Red Bull hoodies.  
  
So what if Max liked him back? How would that even work? Dan hadn't been dating anyone in what felt like ages and Max was a father. So much younger than Dan and yet at a point in his life where Daniel had always pictured himself only years into the future.  
But he wanted to try, God, he wanted to try it so bad that it hurt to leave for work each morning, despite knowing that he would come back in the evenings.  
What if Max would find a friend he would much rather like to live with? What if he'd het the thought that Chili could move in with him? What if he'd grow tired of Dan's sneakers on the floor, of his clothes in the bathroom?  
  
And Daniel remembered what Fernando had told him about courage.  
The Spaniard had been right, of course.  
He had been right about the fact that Dan would never know the truth if he wouldn't gather up his courage and simply ask Max.  
  
It was Tuesday when the Australian had eventually decided that he would try his luck and ask Max out on a date. It simply had to be worth the risk. And Max didn't seem like the type to dump a friend easily, did he?  
  
"So, Max," Dan started when they were eating in the kitchen after the Aussie had come back from work with Mats.  
He could already feel his heart beating in his throat, adrenaline being pumped through his veins while his fingers were trembling beneath the table. He hadn't felt that nervous in years.  
  
He felt his cheeks growing hot and his eyes were quickly roaming over Max's face, fingers nervously tabbing against his thigh where the Dutch wasn't able to see it.  
"Any plans for the evening?"  
  
He was surprised when Max flushed in a deep red almost immediately, averting Daniel's gaze.  
Had he somehow figured out what Dan was about to ask him?  
"I-..." Max's gaze dropped to the floor and he took a deep breath.  
"Yes?" Dan asked and tried to smile as calming as possible while his heartbeat was picking up speed.  
"I want to ask you something. And it's totally okay if you say no! Really! I'd get it!"  
  
Dan was staring at Max. Could it be-...?  
"Really, Dan. Please don't feel obliged to agree if it's not fine for you. I mean, we're friends, not-..."  
The Aussie had to interrupt the younger one at this point, a tentative smile already forming on his lips.  
So Lewis had been right for once?  
"I bet it's fine for me, Maxy," Dan said softly and Max smiled shyly.  
"I-..." the younger one started once again, "I'm on a date with a girl tonight and wanted to ask you if you could babysit?"  
  
The second the words had left Max's mouth, Daniel's heart dropped.  
"I mean, we're friends and I don't want to profit from you being a kindergarten teacher but Mats' grand parents don't have time so I thought-..."  
Max was looking all flustered again and Dan felt sick. Really sick.  
"Yeah," he croaked out, his throat too tight to form actual words, "no problem."  
  
How stupid had he been? How had he managed to trick himself into believing that Max could feel what he felt? Max wasn't gay. He was fucking 20 years old and probably looking to shag a random girl he had met. Which was why he needed someone to babysit Mats.  
Oh God.  
Dan closed his eyes.  
  
"You alright, Dan? I could ask Carlos!"  
"No, I'm just a bit tired, but it's all good," Daniel said and dug his nails deep into his thigh.  
Fucking stupid.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... I've got to say, I really like this chapter!  
> Especially with the boys all coming together, giving Dan relationship advice (some better, some worse haha)  
> What do you think about it? What would your advice for Dan be?
> 
> And for the end of the chapter... who doesn't love a little bit of a heartbreaker from time to time?


	11. Chapter 11

Dan did not ask Max for how long he would be staying away, firstly because he really did not feel the need to know much about the Dutch’s plans for the evening and secondly because it did not matter anyway, since he would sleep at the Verstappen’s apartment.   
The younger one had left around 7pm, kissing his son goodbye and pulling Dan into a loose hug.   
If he noticed how the Aussie’s body stiffened, he didn’t let it show.   
  
Dan, carrying Mats in his arms while he was aimlessly strolling through the apartment, exhaled deeply and patted the little Verstappen’s back.   
“I’m stupid, Mats,” he whispered, inhaling the pleasant scent of the toddler’s black locks, “fucking stupid.”   
“Supid?” the kid babbled and looked up at Daniel through big dark eyes, making the Aussie’s heart swell.   
“Stupid, yeah. I don’t know what I thought.”   
Mats slung his little arms around Dan’s neck and buried his face in his chest.   
“I guess I thought your papa liked me.”   
“Papa?”   
“Your daddy, Max.”   
“Papa?” Mats repeated and one of his hands touched Dan’s face, grabbing his nose.   
The Aussie chuckled.   
“Papa?” he asked confused and Mats nodded, almost excitedly so.   
“So I thought your _dad_ liked me. _Liked_ liked. Not like as a friend,” he sighed deeply and shook his head.   
“Thank God you’re too young to get any of this bullshit.”  
“Bad word,” Mats giggled and Dan let out a laugh.   
“Sorry, you are right. I should better watch my mouth.”   
“Lego?” Mats then asked, clearly unimpressed by all the things Daniel had just told him.   
“Alright. Sure, buddy.”   
  
They build a house and something that looked like a giant foot to Dan but was called “Car!!!” by Mats, until the toddler started yawning more and more.   
“It’s time to go to bed, no?”   
“No!”   
“I think it is, mate.”   
“No!”  
“Your bed is calling for you, Mats.”   
At the word _bed_ , the little one shot Dan dark glances and threw a piece of LEGO at the Australian.   
“Papa!”   
“Your dad will come home soon.”   
It was a lie and Dan knew it was, given how his stomach knotted up at the words.   
What was Max doing at the moment? Was he at some fancy bar, flirting with a pretty girl? Was he getting drunk? Was he taking her to her flat already? Or were they too heated up to wait, going for a quick shag at the toilets?   
He closed his eyes, forcing himself to stop thinking about it, about the younger man.   
“No, papa!” Mats called and another LEGO stone hit Daniel’s chest.   
He picked the child up and caressed his back, whispering soothing words to him until Mats had calmed down visibly, his chin resting on the Aussie’s shoulder.   
  
“ _I had a dream so big and loud_ ,” Dan started singing, softly humming the melody, “ _I jumped so high, I touched the clouds_.”   
But today, the words carried a bitterness that did not want to wash away, leaving his lips tingling and his chest too tight to breathe properly.   
“ _Please don’t wake me now_.”  
But Dan _had_ been woken up, harsh and without being prepared for it and it hurt, as much as he was trying to deny it.  
When Mats was eventually sleeping, saliva drooling on Dan’s t-shirt while soft snoring was reaching his ears, he sat down on Max’s bed, waiting until he could be sure that Mats was fast asleep so he wouldn’t wake up once Dan would lay him down in his own bed.   
Looking down at the sleeping toddler on his chest, Dan couldn’t help wondering what would happen in the future.   
Not only Max but his son as well had grown so very dear to his heart and he had grown so used to being the one bringing Mats to sleep that he did not want to have it any other way.   
But he couldn’t move in with the young Dutch while knowing that his crush wasn’t nor would ever be requited, could he?   
He wouldn’t bear the sight of Max being happy with someone else, himself constantly a third wheel.   
So he would have to tell Max that he would stay at his ownapartment.   
Dan could already picture the disappointment in the younger one’s eyes. Would that kill their friendship? Max would probably automatically assume that it had something to do with him and Daniel wouldn’t be able to lie to him, because in its own way, that was the truth.   
Which would mean having to say good bye to Mats as well.   
Daniel held on to the toddler even tighter.   
Sure, he’d still see him at work but that was _work_ , it wouldn’t be the same.   
His mind produced pictures of Max picking up Mats with his new girlfriend and the Aussie gritted his teeth.   
It was fucked up, all of it.   
He should have realized that he was crushing on the Dutch sooner, that way he would have been able to stay away from him. And now he was in far too deep, too invested in the young father, in his life, entangled with it and close to his son.   
He fetched his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, carefully making sure to not wake up Mats, and was surprised to discover how late it already was.   
When would Max be coming home?   
Or was he planning on staying away the whole night?  
Dan cursed himself for not asking Max about it but then again, wouldn’t he have said anything if he’d be out until morning?   
Dan thought about staying awake, waiting for the other man to come home, but that would be pathetic, wouldn’t it?   
So he felt himself drifting off to sleep soon, his eyelids growing heavy and limps tired.   
When sleep eventually came, Daniel did not fight against it any longer, but welcomed it gratefully, the nagging questions dying down, the demanding voice in his head finally shutting up for once.   
The night was quiet as usual and if he dreamed anything, Dan didn’t remember any of it when he was woken up abruptly.   
  
Opening his eyes jumpily because he had felt something touching his hip, Dan found himself staring into the shocked eyes of the older Verstappen. It took him a few seconds to come back to his senses, discovering that Max was holding a phone in his hands. A phone that looked suspiciously much like Daniel’s.   
So far so good, what the Aussie could not understand was why Max looked like he had just been punched into his guts, eyes wide, jaw dropped, panic arising in his gaze.   
“I-…” the younger one started, opening and closing his mouth several times, “I wanted to switch off your alarm.”  
Daniel grew slightly confused, frowning at the Dutch, who held on to Dan’s phone as if it was his anchor at sea.   
“I-…” Max started once again and his face had taken a very unhealthy colour.   
“What?” Dan asked, not getting what the big deal was, staring at the other man while he was sitting up, brushing sleep and a black strand of curly hair out of his face.   
Max closed his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath.  
When he eventually handed Daniel his phone, the Aussie did not miss how his fingers were trembling, knuckles white from gripping way too tight.   
Dan took his phone and was about to slide it back into the pocket of his pants when the lock screen lit up from his touch, showing two messages from Lewis that he had apparently received while sleeping.   
Quickly, his eyes scanned the text, his stomach dropping with each word, oxygen leaving his lungs.   
  
Guess it’s my time to punch someone now, should have been you he took on a date. Want me to…. -   
the rest of the message wasn’t showed in locked mode and Dan’s eyes skipped to the other one, panic now flooding his veins.   
  
So Max isn’t your Mr right but th r plenty of fish in the sea, Danny boy.  
  
Dan’s gaze shot up and his eyes found Max’s. Max, who had read Lewis’ texts while trying to switch of the alarm.   
Oh fucking hell.   
Daniel felt like he wanted to throw up.   
Getting out of bed was a start of it, so he threw back the blankets and jumped up, his hands forming fists on each side of his face, his throat dry and tight.   
“You’re gay,” Max eventually said, breaking the tense silence that had spread between them and Dan felt like he had been punched for the second time. Technically, he wasn’t, but that did not matter anyway, so he remained silent, Max’s horrified gaze enough of a statement between them.  
Daniel could not help the tears that were suddenly burning in his eyes, his own body a traitor.   
“How was your date?” he managed to get out, his voice raspy and hoarse, hot tears making his vision blurry.   
 When Max did not answer, simply stared at the Australian with that horror in his eyes, Daniel felt ashamed in a way he had never felt before.   
Never before, he had felt ashamed of his own sexuality but right then he fucking did.   
He should have told Max about it, because the younger one obviously had a problem with it, or maybe he just had a problem with Dan having a crush on him, which was relatable and Dan had to grab his left wrist with his right hand, digging his nail deep into the soft skin.   
It didn’t bring the relief he had hoped it would, instead he just felt worse and worse with each second that passed in silence.   
“Say something,” he eventually whispered, “please.”  
Apparently, Max had been holding his breath, because he then exhaled deeply, his eyes still wide, giving away all the things that Daniel had been so afraid of.   
He had been lying to himself all the time, looking for ways that they could make this friendship work, despite Daniel’s feelings, but Max’s reaction had made it all so clear.   
“I don’t know what to say,” Max answered, swallowing hard, “I don’t think I can handle this.”  
And there they were, the words that made Daniel’s stomach twist, making his heart pump pain through his veins with each panicked beat.   
“To make this clear, I’m not gay.”   
“I get it, Max.”   
The young Dutch shook his head, still looking mortified.   
“And I don’t want this.”   
“Of course you don’t.”   
“I cannot handle this, Dan. How is this supposed to work?”   
Daniel didn’t know, of course he didn’t.   
But what he did know was that he had to get out of here, out of the flat and presumably the whole fucking country.   
Book a ticket and travel to the fucking moon or something, somewhere so far away that he’d forget the horror in the younger one’s eyes, somewhere so far abroad he’d forget the shame Max had made him feel.   
Without another word and with tears still burning in his eyes, Dan grabbed his few items and rushed out of the room, out of the flat and down the stairs, only daring to breathe when he had left the building.  
Breathless and with silent tears rolling down his cheeks, he leaned against the wall of the house, forcing himself to breathe calmly while failing miserably.   
How had it all happened so fast?  
One minute, everything had been fine and the next, his life had went to hell, simply because of a fucking alarm clock and two text messages?   
The wall was cool in his back but Daniel’s body was on edge, not making him feel any of it.  
He didn’t turn around another time when he opened the lock of his bike and drove so fast the muscles of his thigh started burning, the pain only welcome.   
Dan did not realize that he was heading towards Lewis’ flat until he stopped his bike in front of it, desperately ringing the bell for what felt like a million times until he eventually had to give up, leaning his forehead against the black, wooden door.   
He jumped, when a voice suddenly came from behind him, a man sitting on the steps to the entrance of the house on the other side of the small street.   
“Lewis isn’t here. I’ve been waiting for him, too.”  
Daniel turned around, facing Nico with a pained sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are few things I love as much as I love reading your comments after I update. Seriously, thank you so much for this! 
> 
> I'd love to know where y'all come from, so feel free to let me know in the comments :) 
> 
> And if you like this story, maybe you're interested in reading another Maxiel story of mine; "Remember When..."  
> \--> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450712/chapters/33381030


	12. Chapter 12

Daniel stared at the blond man, not wearing a suit for once but beige pants and a grey polo-shirt, strands of golden hair fallen into his face. He had gotten a tan lately, his skin sun kissed from spending too much time in Monaco or Dubai or wherever else Dan would probably never even have the money to spend a single day at.   
His blue eyes were watching Daniel closely, worry written all over his face once he spotted the tears in the Australian’s eyes.   
“Are you alright?” Nico asked, patting the place on the steps next to him and Dan sat down with a heavy sigh, pressing his lips together to stop another sob from bubbling up his throat.   
“Why the fuck would you care?” the Aussie asked, shooting a burning glance into the older man’s direction. Nico sighed, but the genuine worry in his eyes didn’t fade.   
“Because we’re friends, Dan.”   
The younger one let out a snort and shook his head.   
“Are we? Are we really, Nico?”   
“Tell me what’s wrong.”   
“You tell me what’s wrong with _you_ , Nico. Running after Lewis again? Is Vivian in Ibiza or what?”   
Nico’s gaze dropped, proving that Dan had hit the bull’s eye right away.   
When the blond raised his gaze the next time, there was exhaustion glistering in his blue eyes.   
“Don’t you believe that one can genuinely love two people at the same time?”   
Daniel didn’t have an answer to that and averted Nico’s glance.   
He had stopped questioning Nico’s feelings long ago. He was well aware that the other man loved Lewis. Maybe anything else did not count that much.   
“Let’s not argue, Dan…”   
He felt the older one’s hand on his back and the Australian didn’t fight against it when he was pulled against Nico’s shoulder.   
“I told Lewis I’d punch you in the face. To break your nose.”   
Nico chuckled softly, a warm sound that made Dan miss the times when everything had been a little easier with his two friends.   
“I’d understand it if you did.”   
“But now I’m here crying on your shirt.”   
“And I still don’t know why you’re that miserable. Did someone dump you?”   
Daniel drew in a deep breath, “That’s what it feels like.”   
“Care to explain?”   
So Daniel explained and Nico listened in silence, nodding at the right passages while not asking any questions or interrupting him.   
When Daniel had finished talking, the tears on his face and on Nico’s shirt had dried and he felt a whole lot better. Miserable still, but better.   
“That kid is 20, Dan,” Nico commented, his voice low, “don’t go too hard on him.”   
“I’ll have to get over him.”   
“You should.”   
“It’s never easy when you’ve been friends before,” Daniel said and looked at Nico, watching him closely.   
“It isn’t,” Nico whispered in agreement, “but then again, when is it ever?”  
The blond was right about that, so they sat in silence for another couple of minutes.   
“Why were you looking for Lewis in the first place?”  
“I don’t know,” Nico answered and Daniel believed him, “I miss him.”   
“So you’re back on speaking terms?”  
He still remembered it vividly, these months and years when the two former best friends hadn’t even spoken a word to each other, doing everything to avoid the other.   
Nico blushed, a pretty shade of pink that went well with his golden skin.   
“I’ve never been good at talking.”  
“That’s a lie.”   
If one was able to fascinate other people with his words and charisma alone, it was Nico Rosberg.   
“Maybe it is.”   
“You’re just awful at talking to Lewis.”   
Nico nodded, his gaze dropping to his feet.   
“I wish-…” he started but trailed off, not finishing his sentence. And Dan didn’t ask, for the older one probably didn’t even know what he was wishing for himself.   
“God, look at us,” Dan eventually said and chuckled, “sitting here, drowning in our own misery.”   
Nico laughed softly and nodded, his lips curling up into a smile.   
“We’re losers.”   
  
Nico had taken him to a fancy restaurant afterwards, where they had been talking some more. Like Fernando, the blond had always been a good listener and a good friend on top. It was a real pity that his feelings were that fucked up, though.   
But Dan had missed his friend and he was not in the position to judge.   
They spoke a lot about Max and about Lewis, about Vivian and Nico’s daughters, about how he was seeing them less and less with Vivian’s shop running good in Ibiza, demanding her attention while Nico had to do business all over Europe and the Emirates.   
And when they parted after having excellent lunch, Daniel indeed felt a little better.   
  
But that state did not last long.   
In fact, it lasted up until he stepped foot into his own apartment, the once so familiar place suddenly feeling alien after he had spent the bigger part of the last weeks sleeping at the Verstappen’s.   
It was already past 1pm when he realized that it was Wednesday, a normal workday. In horror, he checked his phone and the 11 missed calls from Beth.   
Feeling even worse about himself, he called in sick and hid away in his bed.   
  
It got better over the course of the next week, if not much.   
He made it work to not meet Max when he was bringing or picking up Mats, despite he sometimes watched the younger man leave through the windows, hidden away in a shadow.   
He missed him. Missed him terribly.   
Because Max was his friend, wasn’t he?   
He wanted to be around him, play all these stupid FIFA matches with him and argue over energy drinks.   
  
Being around his friends made it easier not to think of the young Dutch all the time, but he was sneaking into his thoughts more often than not nonetheless.   
“He’ll get used to the thought,” Jenson had told him at one point, “believe me, Dan. He’ll get over it. He’s your friend.”   
Daniel, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure about that. Jense hadn’t seen the horror in Max’s eyes upon the realization that Daniel was not just gay but crushing on him.   
Max hadn’t made any attempts to call him or text him or anything else to check on him.   
And the Australian surely wasn’t in the position to be the first one to reach out.   
  
“I miss your dad, Mats,” Daniel nuzzled into the black mop on top of the little Verstappen’s head.  
“Lego?”   
Daniel sighed, smiling into the hair of the toddler that had crawled into his lap.   
“Did you sleep well?” the Aussie asked, a forced smile on his face.   
Mats commented on the question with a tired yawn and Dan’s heart broke at the sight. If Mats hadn’t found much sleep the last days, then Max surely hadn’t either.   
“I’m so sorry, buddy. If I could turn back time…”  
Dan was well aware that he was rather talking to himself than the kid, who was back to building something with his LEGO, but Mats was the closest that he got to Max.   
“It’s all my fault.”   
“Lego!” Mats shoved a piece into Daniel’s hand and Dan smiled fondly, but equally sad.   
He had put something at risk with his actions that was of too much value, despite knowing that he wasn’t to blame for Max reading the text messages.   
And yet…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof... I'm soft for Nico and I hate him at the same time... the never ending struggle
> 
> Thoughts on Nico - and the chapter? :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! TRIGGER WARNING !!!   
> \- implied suicide -

It was two days later, on a Friday, that Dan caught sight of the birthday calendar of his kindergarten group.   
“It’s his birthday tomorrow,” he said below his breath, staring at the sheet hanging on the wall.   
“His birthday?” Beth asked with a frown, standing next to him, “whose birthday?”  
“Mats’.”  
“Verstappen’s?”   
Daniel nodded and Beth raised her eyebrow in suspicion.   
“I’d realized that you and his dad are quite close.”  
“Were,” he corrected his friend, still looking at the calendar.   
“Oh. What happened?”  
“Long story.”   
Daniel sighed and ran a hair through his curls, thoughts pacing through his head.   
“Let’s just say that he doesn’t want to see me.”   
Beth nodded, the frown still not disappearing from her face, “But it’s Mats’ birthday tomorrow and you wanna see him?”  
“I guess?”   
“I’m afraid it’s not your decision,” she shrugged her shoulders and gave Dan a sympathetic smile, “if his dad doesn’t want to see you, there’s little you can do.”   
“Is there really?”   
Beth crossed her arms in front of her chest and eyed Daniel curiously.   
“I don’t know what happened between you, Dan… But you can always give it a try, you know.”  
“Nothing’s lost until it’s lost?” Daniel asked with a small chuckle and Beth gave his shoulder a firm squeeze.   
“Do you have a present for him?”   
Daniel nodded.   
“Sleep.”   
“Sleep?”  
“Yes.”

It was an incredibly stupid idea and Dan could already feel his cheeks heating up when he felt the small USB stick with the recording of his “magic lullaby” in the pocket of his shorts, but it was the least he could do, wasn’t it?  
He had waited until around noon, not wanting to risk waking the two Verstappens up, when he found himself in front of the door to the house.   
When there did not come a reaction to him ringing the bell several times, Daniel wondered whether Max had spotted him from the kitchen or bedroom window, deciding to shut him out.   
Disappointment was washing over him and Daniel felt like an idiot, groaning while shaking his head.   
Or maybe Max wasn’t even at home, what did he know?  
  
“Morning!”  
Daniel turned around, facing a man whom he thought to be about 60, wearing dungarees and thick glasses, his hair wild and grey.   
“Good morning,” Daniel answered polite but hesitantly.   
“Can I help you?” the man asked and cleaned his oily hands with a towel that was hanging from his pocket.   
“Ehm,” Dan replied, looking at the USB stick in his hand, “I’m here to deliver a birthday present.”   
The man’s dark eyes lit up, “For Mats?”  
“You know him?”   
The man cracked a smile, “For sure I do! He’s my grandson!”   
“Oh!” Dan’s eyes widened, “so you’re Hendrik!”   
The man’s smile got a little wider.   
“Do I know you?”   
Dan bit down on the inside of his cheek, scratching the back of his neck.   
“I’m Dan. Daniel Ricciardo. A-a friend of Max.”   
Realization seemed to drool on Mats’ grandfather.   
“Max told me you’d be coming home from your trip this week.”   
“So you’re Daniel,” Hendrik said with a hint of something in his voice that the Aussie could not interpret.  
And eventually, just when Dan had thought the older man would stay silent forever, he made a gesture inviting him to come closer.   
“Want to come inside for a minute?”   
Dan agreed without thinking about it and followed Hendrik into the bicycle shop and further into the workshop.   
  
“So you’re Daniel,” he repeated the words he had said a minute ago, his gaze roaming over the Australian, “I’m Hendrik.”  
He extended a hand and Daniel shook it with a polite smile. He felt himself growing nervous under the other man’s curious gaze. What had Max told him?  
“Max and Mats aren’t here. Just for your information.”  
Dan felt his heart drop at the words and his disappointment must have showed on his face because Hendrik shot him a sympathetic glance.   
“Where are they?”   
“Let’s sit down for a moment.”   
Daniel followed the older one and sat down with him, looking at him expectantly.   
When the grandfather looked at Daniel again, there was a certain sadness sparkling in his eyes.   
“For Mats’ birthday, they are visiting my daughter.”   
His daughter, as in Mats’ mother?   
“Your daughter…?”   
Hendrik let out a shaky breath and studied Daniel’s face.   
“My daughter’s grave.”   
  
Daniel wasn’t sure if he had understood the other man correctly, his lips parting slightly. His daughter’s grave? Mats’ mother had died? How? Why hadn’t Max told him? Had it been too personal?   
Dan’s breath was coming quicker now, shocked by the revelation, which he had not expected.   
Hendrik’s gaze dropped.   
“So Max didn’t tell you. That sounds like him.”   
“I had no idea…”   
Tears were glistering in the older one’s eyes, his fingers tabbing against the surface of the table.   
“I am really sorry for your loss.”   
“Thank you, I appreciate it. We… my wife and I… we usually don’t talk much about it… but when the date of her death hits…”   
Gosh, Dan thought. Max had only been 18 when he had become a father and Mats’ mother surely hadn’t been any older. And then realization drooled on him.   
If Mats’ birthday was also the day of his mum’s death, had she died while giving birth?   
Daniel felt tears welling up in his eyes at the thought.  
Hendrik exhaled audibly.   
“She died in a car,” he said, as if he had read Dan’s thoughts.   
“An accident?”   
He was surprised when Hendrik shook his head.   
“I’m sorry…” the other man brought up a hand and wiped a wet streak of tears from his cheeks, “I didn’t mean to bother you with it. I tend to talk a lot without realizing people aren’t really interested, you know.”   
Hendrik cracked a small apologetic, yet sadness-soaked, smile and Dan didn’t hesitate to reach out and cover the older man’s hand with his own.   
“I like Max and Mats. A lot.”   
The smile Hendrik gave him made Dan feel like that was explanation enough and he still wasn’t sure how much Max had told his father in law (?).   
So he just went with it and waited for the older one to continue.   
“They were incredibly young,” Daniel whispered and Hendrik nodded.   
“Tess had just turned 18.”  
A silent tear rolled down the Australian’s cheek and he wiped it with his sleeve.   
“Max and her had a fight on the day of her death. It was… it was all very complicated.”   
“I can imagine,” Dan whispered, feeling his stomach drop.   
Max had to be carrying a weight far too heavy for his 20 years alive. Hell, too damn heavy for anyone.   
“Our family has a house by the seaside. For the summer and vacation. That’s how Tess and Max met.”   
“Max implied he used to spend time by the sea in his earlier years.”   
Hendrik nodded, “Yeah, that was when he still got along with his family. After Tess’ death and when Mats was born… It got ugly, so we took Max in. Mats is our grandson after all.”  
He paused to sniff, “The only thing we got left of her.”  
Dan felt like a dozen of different questions had just arisen but he knew that it would be indelicate to ask them.   
“Tess is buried in Bergen aan Zee. She’s always loved it there.”   
“So that’s where Max is…”  
Hendrik nodded and looked up, something else now glistering in his eyes.  
“Maybe he could need some company.”   
“What?” Dan frowned at the other man, “no, I can’t…”   
“Max tends to be a little harsh, sometimes. Most of the time he doesn’t really mean it. It’s not easy for him.”   
Dan’s gaze dropped, “You didn’t hear what he said to me.”   
Hendrik sighed.   
“No, I didn’t. But Max is one to talk first and think later.”   
Dan wasn’t sure what to make out of that.   
He didn’t feel the right to look for Max on this particular day, especially not after what Hendrik had just told him. And all these things the older man had left out.   
“You had a present for Mats, remember?”   
Instinctively, Dan reached for the USB stick in his pants.   
“What is it?”   
His cheeks grew hot at the question.   
“I’ve recorded a lullaby for Mats that has helped him sleep before.”   
Hendrik smiled, “That’s a beautiful gesture.”   
“I still can’t-…”  
But he was interrupted by the other one almost immediately, “If you’re really his friend, then you should.”

Hendrik didn’t give Daniel the answers to his questions and he didn’t push the older man to give them to him either.   
And still, when he had said goodbye to Mats’ granddad, not without promising him to at least think about visiting Max to deliver his present, he couldn’t stop himself from overthinking.   
How had Tess died and was Max feeling responsible for it because of the fight they had apparently had? And what had Hendrik meant by denying Dan’s question whether she had died in an accident?   
Moreover, Dan felt sad about the fact that Max had not told him about all of this before. Sure, he could understand that Max was probably trying to forget all about it and not be reminded of it, but had he felt like Dan wasn’t trustworthy enough?   
Probably not. The last thing Dan wanted to do was to drown in self pity while Max was the one who had _really_ suffered.   
Wasn’t it egoistic of Dan to even feel hurt about the unrequited feelings he had for Max while the younger one had lost the mother of his _child_?   
It was pathetic, really. Dan’s experiences were _nothing_ compared to what Max had gone through. And before anything else, Dan was Max’s _friend_. Wanted to be someone the young Dutch could talk to, wanted to listen to him about his grief and maybe help him feel better by sharing his pain.   
What did it matter that Dan was in love with Max if Max needed a friend more than anything else?   
So he would have to overcome his hurt feelings and his pride and be that friend for Max.   
The USB stick was resting heavy in his pants when he took out his phone to dial a number.   
  
“Hello?” it came from the other end of the line, sounding sceptical.   
“It’s me,” Dan said and a surprised noise was reaching his ears.   
“I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon,” Nico said and Dan could hear him smiling through the speaker, “so what’s up?”  
“I need your help,” Daniel explained straight away, waiting for the other man’s response.   
“My help? With what?”   
“I need a car… and you have a car… so I thought…”  
“You need a car?” Nico sounded genuinely surprised, yet not opposed to Daniel’s request.   
“The guy I told you about? Max? I have to see him.”  
“I thought he’s in Amsterdam, what the hell do you need a car for?”   
“Turns out he’s in Bergen aan Zee. So I need a car.”   
“Bergen? That’s how long, about an hour if the traffic is fine? Longer, maybe?”  
Daniel nodded, until he realized Nico wasn’t able to see that.   
“Yeah.”   
“Uhm, Lewis has a car. Why are you asking me?”   
“Lewis said he’d punch Max and I can’t really deal with that at the moment. You know that I still haven’t filed for my Dutch driving license because I never needed it anyway.”   
Nico let out a sigh, “So you don’t just need a car but also a driver.”   
“… exactly.”  
“And it can’t be Lewis because he’s holding a grudge against that Verstappen guy.”   
“Can’t really blame him for it…”  
Nico chuckled and Dan could vividly imagine him running his hand through his hair.   
“What about Jense and Nando?”   
“You know that they don’t have a car, Nico. Who needs a car in Amsterdam?”   
“… and you want to avoid Lewis…”  
“Didn’t I just say-… oh FUCK me!”  
“No thanks.”  
“He’s with you right now?”  
“Yup.”  
“Goooosh,” Daniel made and raised his eyebrows. These two would definitely be the end of him one day.   
“And he’s insisting on coming with you… us…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooof, so...


	14. Chapter 14

When Nico picked him up with his car about fifteen minutes later, Dan wasn’t surprised to find Lewis in the back seat.   
He tried to read from his best friend’s face what had happened between the two of them, but the smile the Brit gave him was unreadable and didn’t let anything slip.   
The Aussie guessed he was fine with it, as long as he wouldn’t have to fear for the two of them to beat the shit out of another.   
He climbed into the passenger seat of Nico’s Mercedes and pulled the blond into a hug.   
“Thanks, mate.”   
Before Nico could say anything in return, Lewis had leaned forward, placing a hand on Daniel’s shoulder.   
“So you wanna punch that fucker yourself or why are we driving to the seaside?”  
Dan sighed and Nico shot him an amused glance.   
While Nico manoeuvred the car out of Amsterdam’s traffic after the Aussie had typed the address Hendrik had given to him into the navigation system, he told the other two men what he had found out.   
  
Nico was the first to find words, while Lewis sat star-struck in the back of the car, staring into space.   
“I’m really sorry to hear that. Life’s not going easy on him, is it?”   
“I don’t know what to say, man,” Lewis mumbled and shook his head, “and you had no idea?”  
“He didn’t tell me anything.”   
“It’s understandable,” Nico commented, gaze fixed on the road, “it’s not exactly making a new friend material.”   
“I guess…” Dan mumbled and looked out of the window. They had left the city behind and fields had started lining the highway. His eyes followed a herd of cows while Hendrik’s words were playing on his mind all over again.   
“I just…” Daniel took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders, Nico driving too fast for him to keep up with the animals, trees now rushing past them, “I have to tell him that I want to be his friend.”   
“Don’t you think he knows that, Danny?”   
The Australian turned around to face his best friend, insecurity washing over him.   
“I don’t know what he knows. I don’t know what he thinks.”  
He leaned his cheek against the headrest and bit down on his bottom lip.   
“I’ve just gotta tell him. If he’ll tell me to fuck off then so be it, but I’m his _friend_. I’m his friend before I’m anything else.”   
He didn’t miss how Lewis shot Nico a glance in the rear-view mirror, a shadow flashing over his face. When Dan caught the Brit’s gaze, Lewis looked away.   
“It’s important,” Dan added, knowing that he was digging too deep, “being friends.”   
Lewis let out a hiss and Nico’s gaze shot up, facing the younger one in the mirror.   
  
Throughout the rest of the car ride, the three of them all seemed to be caught up in their thoughts. Daniel staring out of the window, Nico and Lewis watching each other in the rear-view window whenever the other one wasn’t looking.   
They reached Bergen sooner than Dan would have thought, meaning that it would take only a couple of minutes more until they had reached Bergen Aan Zee.   
They traversed the small town, consisting of pretty much nothing more than small houses, an Albert Heijn and an animal park in its centre until Nico steered the car onto an avenue lined by deciduous trees, modern villas hidden behind them.   
Unlike the bigger parts of the Netherlands, the street that lead to the seaside once they had turned right was actually quite hilly, nature having shaped the land by force.   
Nico followed the navigation system and they passed through the little village’s centre, a roundabout traffic the heart of it. When Daniel looked right, he could already see the beach promenade but the sea was still hidden by the angle.   
However, the salty scent reached his nose when the window slid open without a sound and a took a deep breath. It hadn’t been too long since he had smelled the sea in Australia, but this was always different. Fresher and more salty, a steady breeze ruffling his hair.   
Once Nico turned left, they followed the line of the sand duns the beach was hidden behind, down a cobblestone path to a more quiet part of Bergen Aan Zee.   
Eventually, the blond driver stopped the car abruptly, the duns building up on almost all sides of them.   
“I think it’s this one,” Nico said and pointed to their right.   
The dun was overgrown by rose hips and a house jutted out of it. It had a stone façade and didn’t seem too small but rather pretty, yet simple.   
A short path lead up the duns, framed by the rose bushes, the sandy ground ideal for their growth.   
  
“Nervous?” Nico asked when Daniel didn’t make any attempts to leave the car.   
“I reckon I am.”   
He felt Lewis strong hand on his shoulder.   
“It’s fine, man. If things don’t work out you can always still punch him.”   
That drew a half-hearted chuckle from Daniel and he heaved a sigh.  
“I guess we’ll spend some time by the sea, given we’re here already…?” Nico said and trailed off, turning around to face Lewis.   
“So text me if you wanna drive back home later.”   
“Thanks, Nico. And thanks, Lewis.”   
“You’re welcome.”  
“No problem, Danny.”   
  
The Australian shot them a hesitant smile and eventually opened up the door of the car, stepping outside.   
Lewis gave him thumbs up and Dan crossed the small street, slowly pushing open the gates.   
The twelve steps that led up the dun seemed to stretch into eternity.   
Reaching the top, he spotted a terrace next to the door, with windbreaker glass, furnished with a table and several outdoor chairs.   
To his surprise, he discovered that he could only find an antique bell to ring, no electronic device.   
The wooden door was parted vertically, therefore consisting of two parts. The upper one was opened like a window, meaning that Dan could look inside at a floor and stairs leading up. He guessed the half-opened door meant that Max was at home but the place seemed rather abandoned still.   
Above it, there was the word _NOVIOMAGUM_ carved into stone.   
Before Dan could think about it for too long, he ringed the heavy bell and was surprised by how loud it was, making him jump.   
  
Almost immediately, a rumbling noise reached Daniel’s ears and just a couple of seconds later, Max appeared on the staircase inside, his gaze absentminded and rushed.   
Daniel hadn’t realized just how quiet it was here, away from the city with its constant level of sound. But right then, the only noise that could be heard was the rustle of the rose hips in the wind and the sea in the distance. Apart from that, one would have heard a penny drop and Dan did not even dare to blink, just stared at the young Dutch, who was staring right back at him, his hands falling down at his sides.   
Max was standing in the shadows of the house, the walls were kept in white that built a contrast to the dark wooden ceiling beams, a charm of the 50s, but the Aussie spotted the younger one’s exhaustion nonetheless.   
The dark circles under his eyes, which Dan hadn’t seen lately, had returned and the tension in his muscular shoulders was back again.   
  
He would have expected Max to say something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” or “what the fuck do you want?”, but the other one remained silent and it was so quiet that Dan started to hear the blood rushing in his ears.   
Max was silent still when he stepped down the final steps and crossed the small floor until he was standing on the other side of the half-opened door.   
While his face was blank, his eyes were now roaming over Daniel’s face, who grew more and more uncomfortable under the younger one’s intense gaze.   
And then Max blinked and Dan realized that he had been holding his breath all the time.   
The kid was too damn beautiful for this world.   
  
“Daniel.”   
There was something about the way that Max said his name and Dan just prayed that he would open the bloody door and not send him away, so he held his breath once again, wind tugging on his clothes.   
And then things were happing too fast.   
One second, the door had been closed and the next, Max had opened it up, swinging inwards, while Max was pulling Daniel in, wrapping his arms around his back tightly, his cheek pressed against the Australian’s shoulder.   
“Daniel,” Max repeated again, his voice low and hoarse.  
The Aussie, too surprised to say anything, drew in a sharp breath, causing Max to stiffen. Slowly, the younger one’s hands were disappearing from his back and fell down on each side of the Dutch’s body once again.   
“I’m sorry, Dan,” Max started, his gaze searching for a reaction in Daniel’s face.   
“You’re sorry?” the Australian echoed, blood still rushing in his ears.   
“I acted like a dick.”   
Dan’s gaze dropped and he jumped when he felt Max hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.   
“Hendrik told me you’d come.”   
Daniel nodded, feeling paralyzed.   
“Forgive me?” Max asked and cracked a shy smile, causing Dan to shake his head in disbelief.   
This certainly wasn’t how he had imagined things to go.   
“Max…”  
“No, wait,” the Dutch interrupted him and raised a hand, “what I said wasn’t fair.”   
“It really doesn’t matter,” Daniel said and stepped into the house, closing the lower half of the door once again, “I don’t expect anything of you, Max. I’m here because…. I’m here because I want to be your friend. I don’t want to lose you.”   
He watched the younger one, how he was looking back at the Australian with honest eyes.   
“And after Hendrik told me… after… you know… I thought you could use any friend.”   
Max’s gaze dropped and the tension in his shoulders increased, his frame starting to shake.   
When he looked at Dan again, he was chewing on his bottom lip.   
“I don’t need _any friend_ , Dan,” he smiled once again, just as hesitant as before, “I need _you_.”   
Dan swallowed, Max’s words leaving a tingling sensation in his stomach despite knowing how the Dutch had meant them.   
He felt heat creeping up his back and just prayed that there wouldn’t be a blush spreading on his cheeks, it being the last thing he’d need at the moment.   
“I’ve got a present for Mats.”   
Max raised his eyebrows and for another few seconds, they stood in the middle of the floor silently, until Daniel cleared his throat and looked around.   
“Where is he, anyway?”   
“He’s sleeping.”   
“Oh.”   
Max tilted his head.   
“For the first time in what feels like ages.”   
Dan shot the younger one a glance, who caught it with a shrug.   
“He’s missing you.”  
“I’ve missed him, too.”  
“And so did I.”   
Dan stared at Max, wondering whether he was aware of the effect that his words were having on his heartbeat.   
“I…” he started, “I’ve missed you as well.”   
Max looked at him, until his lips curled up into a small smile.   
“Coffee?”   
The Dutch passed the floor into the kitchen without waiting for Daniel’s reply and the Aussie followed him, leaning against the counters, watching Max’s back.   
The kitchen had French windows that went down to the ground, a gentle breeze coming in from outside.   
Dan couldn’t help the vacation flair that hit him when he drew in the salty scent of the sea again, the crashing of the waves echoing in the distance.   
When Max turned around again, handing Dan his coffee while he got himself a Red Bull, he opened and closed his mouth several times, giving the Aussie the impression that he wanted to say something.   
“What is it?” Dan asked, keeping his voice low, subconsciously trying not to disturb the peaceful silence of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formula 1 is back and so is this fic!  
> I hope you liked this chapter and please tell me what you think in the comments :)
> 
> I'm currently writing a novel and part of it will be set by the Dutch coast!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ++++++ TRIGGER WARNING +++++++  
> ~ implied suicide ~

“Will you come outside?” Max asked and held open the French door, grass and rose hips swaying in the wind. He followed the younger one and found himself on a path that seemed to go around the house. Max sat down on small stairs made of stone and Daniel mirrored his posture.   
He felt goose bumps arising on his skin, the salty air cool and softly tugging on his clothes, while Max had folded his hands around the can of his energy drink, knuckles going white.   
It was a peaceful moment nonetheless, so far away from the city, away from all responsibilities with nothing but land and individual houses in front of them. From their spot in the duns, it seemed like they were watching over a valley, with the sea not visible but promising still.   
They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity to Daniel, quietly sipping on his coffee, until Max eventually tilted his head and looked at him, the Aussie catching his gaze from the corners of his eyes.   
  
“What did Hendrik tell you?” the Dutchman asked and Dan turned to face him, looking for any kind of sign in the younger one’s glance.   
“That his daughter died,” Daniel replied and held Max’s gaze, who swallowed hard, nervously playing with the opening of his can. It made the Australian hope he wouldn’t cut himself.   
“Anything more than that?” Max’s voice was faltering, threatening to break around the edges and another wave of sympathy hit the older one.   
“He said she died in a car but not in an accident.”   
The Dutch let out a huff of air while his gaze went into the distance, fixating no certain point, apparently lost in his thoughts.   
“Not much, then.”   
Dan took a deep breath, “And that you two were fighting before she passed.”   
Max lifted his gaze rapidly and their eyes met again, if only for a quarter of a second.   
Daniel witnessed how Max’s body tensed up, muscles flexing under his shirt.   
When he spoke again, his voice was quivering, “So now you’re wondering if I’m-…”  
“Max…” Daniel interrupted the younger one, his knee brushing against the younger one’s thigh when he turned towards him, “I don’t know enough to wonder about anything. And I’m certainly not judging you.”   
Max scoffed and shook his head, bringing the Red Bull to his lips to take another sip and finding it empty.   
“You would if you did.”   
“I don’t think so.”   
The gaze Max shot him as a reaction was murderous, his voice now shaking heavily, “How would you know?!”   
“I’m not much of a judging person,” Daniel remarked calmly and the other man seemed to be taken aback by that, not able to think of a reply.   
It apparently made him think, though, because after kicking a loose stone with his foot, Max looked up at Dan again and started speaking.   
“We were 17, you know. When we…” he made some kind of helpless gesture, his cheeks flushing red, “when she got pregnant. Not that I would’ve known.”  
Dan bit back his “guessed that much” in order to keep Max talking.   
The Dutch inhaled audibly, “It wasn’t much more than a party fling. Well, we had been dating for a few weeks, but nothing serious. We were just kids, right?”   
He seemed to be looking for affirmation in Daniel’s gaze, so the Aussie nodded understandingly and remained silent.   
“Kids,” Max repeated and shook his head, “I didn’t even like her that much.”   
There were a few tears sparkling in the Dutch’s eyes and Dan wondered if he’d cross a boundary by taking the younger one’s hands in his, eventually deciding against it and keeping his hands to himself.   
“Does that make me a horrible person?” Max asked, his voice betraying him when he caught the Australian’s gaze. Dan swallowed a lump that had been forming in his throat and shook his head.   
“Of course it doesn’t, Max. You were 17.”   
“Still,” he remarked and Dan saw him biting down on his bottom lip, to stop it from trembling. It made his heart ache.   
“I haven’t told this story in a long time. Haven’t spoken to anyone about it in months.”   
“Not even to Chili?”  
“Not even to Chili,” Max’s eyes were now hidden away behind a layer of tears.   
“You don’t have to talk about it to me.”   
Max let out a shaky breath, ignoring Daniel’s comment.   
“It’s strange, being here. I haven’t been here since she died. Brings up all the memories.”   
“Max… If you’re not comfortable with telling me this, then-…”   
A small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes crept on the Dutch’s face, his shoulder touching Daniel’s.   
“I’ve thought about stuff the last days. If I want our friendship to work then I’ll have to be open about things, don’t I?”   
Dan was surprised by Max’s words and his brows shot up, making the younger one shrug his shoulders.   
“I don’t think this is the kind of stuff you necessarily have to be open about.”   
“No, Dan, that’s exactly what it is.”   
They stared at each other for several seconds, until there was once again a hint of a blush on Max’s prominent cheekbones, making Daniel’s gaze drop in confusion.   
“Okay, then,” the Australian said, stunned by the sheer existence of the younger man.

“She didn’t tell anyone that she was pregnant up until the sixth month. Still don’t know how she made that work but I didn’t see her that often anymore anyway. Maybe I noticed but just didn’t want it to be true,” Max continued and shrugged his shoulders, his gaze going off into the distance once again.   
“I was already seeing someone else by the time that shit got real. Her parents found out, eventually. They wanted her to talk to me about it, so that was what she did.”   
Max paused for a moment, apparently too caught up in his memories to find the right words.   
“God,” he said and shook his head, bringing together his palms, “I was furious when she told me. Scared as hell, of course.”  
His chest was shaken by a quiet sob when he continued speaking, “I wanted her to get an abortion. But it was obviously too late.”   
Daniel listened in silence, feeling his lungs going tighter and tighter with each word, the urge to take Max’s hand in his growing with each sentence.   
“I ignored the _problem_ for almost two whole months. I remember forcing myself not to think about it while I was actually freaking out over it all the fucking time.”  
Guilt was swaying heavy in Max’s voice, stirring something deep inside of the Australian.   
“I just ignored her existence, the existence of the baby, of everything that didn’t include racing or myself. I was a fucking twat, Dan.”   
“You were in a state of shock, Max.”   
The Dutch shot him a quick glance and chuckled humourlessly.   
“Yeah.”   
“I mean it.”   
Max ignored his remark once again.   
“So she was eight months into the pregnancy when my father somehow found out. There had been a lot of gossip going around at that point, you know.”   
“How did he react?”   
“He was infuriated. No matter what I or my mum said, he just wouldn’t calm down. He screamed at me, told me he’d always known I was a failure.”  
Max’s voice was bitter but there was hurt underneath and Dan felt his fingers shiver, anger washing over him.   
“Told me I was a disgrace to all of us, that he wouldn’t pay a cent for the baby. Said Tess would end up a prostitute to earn money and then a crackhead.”   
Max pressed his lips together into a thin line.   
“What happened next?” Daniel asked tentatively.   
“My dad threw me out, so I went to see her. I just wanted to talk to her, talk her into an adoption or something, but things escalated and we had a fight.”   
Silent tears were now streaming down Max’s cheeks and he wiped them away with the back of his hand.   
“Told her if she’d keep the baby, she would have seen the last of me. That I wouldn’t pay for them.”   
Max blinked the tears away, taking a deep breath.   
“I fucking panicked, Dan.”   
He looked up at the Aussie through a veil of tears and Dan’s breath got caught in his lungs.   
“I don’t even remember all the insults I threw at her but she must have been so desperate.”   
Max exhaled shakily, drawing in his legs.   
“Max…”  
“She killed herself,” the Dutch held on to the Aussie’s gaze so Dan thought _fuck it_ and grabbed the younger one’s hands, Max lacing their fingers together tightly almost immediately.   
“She had just gotten her driving license and steered her car right into a tree, next to the road,” Max was holding on to Daniel’s hand to tightly that it started to feel numb, “there weren’t any skid marks.”   
The Australian felt speechless, incapable of saying anything that would have made it any better.   
“She… she died on the way to the hospital.”  
Horror lit up in Max’s eyes and the grip on Daniel’s hand intensified once again.   
“She was dead already when Mats was delivered by surgery.”   
Dan closed his eyes, as tears were welling up in his now as well.  
“Where you there?”   
Max didn’t answer so the Aussie suspected him to nod.   
“One of the paramedics was a friend of Hendrik and Mila. They called me.”   
Dan opened his eyes again and looked at Max, who was staring right back at him.   
His voice wasn’t more than a whisper when he spoke again, choking back the tears, “I loved him the second I saw him.”   
Dan’s heart clenched.   
“So tiny and vulnerable, brought into this world too early. My son.”   
Max shook his head in disbelief, his shoulders shaking.   
“You want me to hug you?” Daniel asked quietly and Max nodded.   
So the older one pulled him in, one hand around Max’s back, the other in his neck, drawing small patterns on the younger one’s skin.   
“I am so incredibly sorry, Max.”   
Max didn’t say anything in return and the Australian felt him sobbing against his chest.   
“The thought that I wanted Tess to get an abortion or put him up for adoption, the things I said to her, that… It will never…”  
“Shh,” Dan whispered, feeling how a single tear ran down his face, down his throat, eventually caught by the hem of his shirt.   
He had probably never heard a story this sad and the fact that it was coming from Max, was actually the Dutch’s _reality_ , made it even worse.   
It made Dan feel helpless and miserable and he did not even want to imagine how the younger one must have been feeling.   
“Thank you. For telling me.”   
“I haven’t talked to my dad since… since then. Hendrik and Mila were so incredibly kind, I’ll never be able to live up to that.”   
“They love Mats. And they love you.”   
“Do they, really? I couldn’t, if I was in their place.”   
Dan couldn’t stop himself from running a hand through Max’s hair, caressing the back of his head.   
“Don’t go too hard on yourself, Maxy. You’re doing great.”   
“I don’t think I am.”   
“I _know_ you are.”   
Max brought some distance between them, looking up at the Australian, his cheeks finally of a healthier colour.   
“Thank you, Dan,” his gaze dropped, “for coming here. After what I said, I didn’t deserve any of it.”   
“You’re going too hard on yourself once again.”   
“No, I’m not. I was a dick and we both know it.”   
Daniel felt his neck growing warm another time.   
“I’m glad you have come to your senses, then.”   
Max snorted, his face still tear-stained and red, but there was a spark of something lighting up in his eyes that made the Australian feel warm, the sadness in his chest slowly replaced by another emotion he couldn’t identify yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so...  
> This is so far from everything that I usually write (I live and breathe for fluff and humour fics) but I guess one has to try everything at least once at some point. I'm sorry for making Max and Dan suffer this much, though.   
> Please tell me your thoughts on this in the comments. I'm having ambigous feelings about this whole chapter/topic:
> 
> (I also noticed that the last chapter was posted twice, no idea if it was my fault or AO3, hope there wasn't any confusion about it)


	16. Chapter 16

They both jumped when they heard an outcry coming from a window above.   
“Mats,” Max remarked and got up, clearing his throat.   
Dan suddenly let go of the younger one’s hands as if he had been burned.   
“He’s waken up,” the Dutch stated the obvious and shot the Australian a quick glance, “I’ll get him.”   
Dan nodded and followed Max back into the house, hesitating at first, but when the other one smiled at him, he replied with one as well and they climbed the stairs up to the first floor.   
There were four doors, one of them the bathroom, as Daniel could spot. Two of them were closed and the Aussie suspected bedrooms.   
“They rent the house to tourists when they’re not here,” Max explained and stepped into a room to their right, with a king size bed and one for babies.   
Mats had sat up in there, rubbing his eyes, while whining.   
When he spotted Max, the whining turned into unhappy babbling and the young Dutch picked his son up with soothing words, whispering quietly while stroking the toddler’s back.   
“It’s all good, Mats. I’m here. Shhh, no need to worry.”   
Mats turned around in the Dutch’s arms, trying to climb his shoulders and up on his head, which drew a laugh from Daniel, who had stopped in the doorway.   
The little one’s gaze shot into his direction at the sound and Mats beamed at him.   
“Look who I brought you,” Max whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.  
The younger one looked at Daniel and the Aussie felt something in his chest clench at the sight.   
“It’s Dan,” Max continued to whisper, smiling into his son’s dark curls, “he’s back.”   
  
The clock had struck five and they spent the following hour like they had mostly done, kneeling on the floor to play Lego with Mats.  
And Daniel felt blessed by all of it, couldn’t remember the last time when something this simple had made him this happy.   
It was almost like it had been before.   
Before Max had read that stupid text message, before things had turned shit.   
Back when they had just been able to enjoy each other’s company.   
But Max _had_ seen the messages, he _was_ aware of Daniel’s feelings, meaning that the Australian couldn’t stop wondering what Max was actually thinking of him now.   
Was he forcing himself to simply accept it?  
Was he actually grossed out by it, just not letting it show?  
Was he wishing for Daniel’s crush to go away just as hard as he himself was?  
  
He didn’t feel ready to talk to Max about it and did not expect to get any real answers to his questions, anyway.   
But the thoughts kept nudging on Daniel’s mind still, never actually shutting up.   
Max wanted them to be friends, so that was what they’d do.   
Daniel could live with that. Would have to.

“Wanna go to the beach?” Max eventually proposed and Daniel agreed.   
  
To say that Dan was confused by the younger one’s actions and behaviour would have been an understatement.   
Max picked up almost exactly where they had left of, blushing way too often, getting flustered each time that Daniel asked him something.   
And there was that time when Dan had been changing into a pair of swim shorts that Max had lent to him, in the secrecy of the bathroom, of course.   
Dan had stepped out of the room in nothing but the shorts, pulling on a white surf shirt that Max had found in a drawer and then the Dutch had gotten all flustered at the sight, turning away from Daniel, while the Aussie had clearly spotted the red patches on his cheeks.   
Or maybe he _hadn’t_ and was simply going insane over time. Who could tell?  
Dan certainly couldn’t, not at this point in time and not with Max this close, with red cheeks and strands of hair falling into his face, for once without any products in them.   
Which made Dan think of the last time that Max had been close to him without gel in his hair and how _that_ had ended and it really didn’t help with anything, mind you.   
  
So they went to the beach, out of the house and up the hill.   
Dan had offered to carry Mats and Max, who had changed into swimming trunks and a blue surf shirt with a RedBull logo on it as well, carried a bag with a blanket and several items for his son.   
It was just a short walk up the dun but Dan felt a little out of breath still, his feet digging deep into the sand.   
However, the view once they had crossed the top made up for all of it.   
The Northern sea spread in front of them, the sand of a pearly white while the late afternoon sun spent enough warmth to not feel cold.   
Max smiled at him and Daniel beamed, grinning from one ear to the other for no reason at all, apart from the fact that he was apparently a fucking idiot, for being this close to the young Dutch again while knowing what it was doing to his heart.    
  
As they hadn’t entered the beach from the centre of Bergen Aan Zee, they found a quiet spot with almost no one in sight, where Max spread the blanket and dropped their stuff.   
He then started running towards the water out of nowhere and Dan followed much slower with Mats still in his arms, shouting and laughing at Max at the same time.   
Dan let out an embarrassing shriek once the cool water hit his ankles, the waves carrying it a little further into the land with each minute.   
“This is fucking cold!”  
Max snorted, tilting his head, “It’s not. You’re just a spoiled boy from Australia.”   
Dan pouted and raised an eyebrow, stepping further into the water whilst making sure that he had enough grip to not fall in case a heavy wave hit him, shielding Mats.   
Max came closer and reached out his hands to take the little one, their arms brushing against another in the process.   
Dan caught Max’s gaze and felt himself shiver, while a blush was spreading on the Dutch’s cheekbones once again.   
The Aussie swallowed.   
But the moment passed quickly and then the younger one took Mats, holding him just right to give the toddler a refreshment by dipping his feet into the water.   
  
Max held Mats tightly and walked through the water, whispering words to his son that the Aussie did not catch, frozen on his spot.   
He couldn’t help staring at the Dutch, who was now about 15 meters away from him, soft waves crashing around his ankles.   
He found himself caught up in the moment of it, in the sight of the younger one, illuminated by the setting sun.   
Max’s face looked sharper this way, light and shadows painting his angles harsher than they actually were. It was soppy, really, to stand there and watch Max, not being able to tear his gaze away from how golden spots of light got tangled in the other one’s hair.   
He watched how Max raised Mats high above his head and then let him sit on his shoulders, holding the little one firmly in place.  
Daniel suddenly felt a wave of sadness washing over him and the mother of all heartaches started forming in his chest.   
He eventually tore his gaze away from the pair and stepped out of the water, sitting down on the blanket which Max had spread in the sand.   
He drew in his legs and rested his chin on his knees, rubbing his feet together in order to get rid of the sand.   
  
When Max came back as well, the sky was illuminated in different colours, purple splashing through where clouds had opened up.   
  
“You said you have a present for Mats,” Max said and eyed him curiously, while reaching for the small jacket he had brought for the toddler.   
“Ah yes,” Dan stated, having forgotten about the little one’s birthday over the story Max had told him earlier on. It still overshadowed most things.   
“It’s stupid,” Daniel said when he felt the younger one’s curious gaze on his skin, his own eyes dropping to the ground another time.   
“I like stupid things,” Max replied with a chuckle and edged a little closer.   
The Aussie looked up again, “I don’t have it with me, it’s in the house.”   
“You could tell me, though. It’s probably not like Mats would understand it anyway.”   
Max tilted his head and his lips curled up into a smile.   
The older one thought about it.   
He did not meet Max’s gaze when he started speaking.   
“I suspected that Mats didn’t sleep too well when… you know… when my magic lullaby wasn’t around.”   
“I’ll give you that one,” Max remarked and Dan did not have to look up to know that he was smirking.   
“Soirecordedmyselfsingingthesong,” Daniel hastily explained and stumbled over the words, his face growing hot.   
“What?” Max asked, his voice soaking in confusion.   
Daniel cleared his throat and coughed.   
“I recorded myself singing the song. So… So you could play it to Mats when I’m not around.”   
When Max didn’t reply to his revelation, Dan turned around to face him.   
The Dutch seemed stunned.   
“That’s…” he started and Daniel could see his throat popping when the Dutch swallowed, “that’s really kind of you.”   
An awkward silence spread between the two of them and Daniel couldn’t think of anything to say.   
“It’s… I really appreciate it, Dan. Thank you.”   
“You’re welcome.”   
“As much as I hope it would work, I guess it’s still not the same as you singing it to him,” Max said, his voice low and a little strained, catching Daniel’s attention.   
He looked at the younger one, finding him somewhat nervous.   
“Think so?”   
Max nodded, a sharp teeth sinking down into the flesh of his bottom lip.   
Dan forced himself not to stare.   
“I do.”  
They fell silent after that, sitting next to each other with Mats in Max’s lap.   
  
“How do you feel?” Daniel eventually asked, when he found the time was right.   
“About what?”   
The Aussie shot him a quick glance.   
“About Tess. On this day, I mean.”   
Max drew in a sharp breath and seemed to hold it for several seconds.   
“Confused,” he paused.  
“Sad as well. Panicking, if I’d indulge in it.”  
Daniel nodded in understanding, while being well aware that he probably wasn’t able to understand any of it. Hoped that he never would.   
“Do you have a picture of her?” he asked.  
Max nodded, “Why?”  
The Australian shrugged his shoulders.   
“She’s Mats’ mum. I’d like to… I… I don’t really know.”   
Max didn’t push, instead he reached for his phone and handed it to the Aussie after a few seconds.   
Dan took it and looked at the picture on it.   
It was a photo of a young girl, looking barely older than 15, black locks framing her face. She had a small but delicate nose and almond-shaped eyes, her upper lip was fuller than the lower one and the smile she gave the camera was rather shy.   
Daniel had to close his eyes for a moment, once again reminded of just how young Max and Tess had been.   
Too young to ever face a tragedy like this.   
“Excuse me if I don’t find the right words, Max. It leaves you speechless, you know.”   
“I know.”   
Dan still couldn’t tear his eyes away from the picture, somehow drawn in by the look in Tess’ dark eyes. He didn’t know when the picture was taken, but she looked happy in it.   
  
“She’s beautiful.”   
Max nodded, “She certainly was.”   
“Mats’ looks like her,” Daniel commented and eyed the toddler and his black locks, messy and wild.   
“He looks like you,” Max replied and Dan’s gaze shot up, wondering whether he had misheard.   
Max frowned.   
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that.”   
“Noticed what?”  
Max’s gaze ping-ponged between the Australian and his son, while the second was gulping at the younger one.   
“He looks like you,” Max repeated.   
“I don’t see it,” Dan said in confusion.   
“Well, I do,” Max confirmed and ran a hand through Mats’ curls, a finger tenderly caressing his cheek.  
“It was actually the first thing I ever noticed about you,” Max added, “that you look alike.”  
Daniel simply felt lost for words, his neck growing hot at the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been brought to my attention that some people actually miss this story so I'm FINALLY updating (i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry)
> 
> However, I do have some good news because I have written a Maxiel christmas themed fanfic last year, which I will start posting soon.   
> Hope you'll enjoy that one!


	17. Chapter 17

When Max eventually suggested to head back, Daniel checked his phone for a message from either Nico or Lewis but he hadn’t received one yet.   
So they took the same way they had taken earlier on, walking besides each other in silence.  
It was a comfortable one, though, Dan matching Max’s energizing strolls.   
Mats had fallen asleep by the time that they had reached the house and the Dutch placed him up the stairs in the bedroom, leaving Daniel standing in the hallway.   
Max was coming back down the stairs the second that Dan’s phone buzzed in his hand.   
  
“It’s Lewis.”   
“What does he want?”   
“Nico and him are heading back to town now… So I’ll just grab my stuff and-…” he trailed off, the rest of the sentence hanging in the air at the expression on the younger one’s face.  
The smile it had been carrying had fallen and was replaced by disappointment.  
“You’re leaving?”   
Daniel nodded carefully, hesitant for a reason he couldn’t put into words.  
“I don’t want you to leave.”  
Max held his gaze firmly from his place on the stairs, making Dan feel small.   
He shifted from one leg to the other.   
“I don’t-…”   
“You can have some of my stuff.”   
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Max.”   
The look in the Dutch’s eyes was both defiant and challenging.  
“Why not?”   
Daniel sighed, feeling a shiver run down his back. Shouldn’t it be obvious? Did Max really want him to speak it out loud?   
Max stumbled down the stairs and came to stand still in front of the Australian.   
“Max…”  
“Why not, Dan?”   
“I just can’t, okay? Not with that… thing…”  
“You can take the spare bedroom.”  
“Max…”   
Daniel was taken aback by the desperation that had lit up in the younger one’s eyes.   
“We could go to the beach tomorrow or rent some bikes or-…”  
“Max, I just can’t. It’s too much.”   
“Dan, you promised to be my friend.”   
Max’s voice was shaking and his glance determined.  
“I am your friend,” Dan shot back, hurt by Max’s words.  
“But that’s what a friend does! And I’m asking you to stay!”  
Dan felt like this was escalating way too quickly, like he had missed something at some point.   
“I can’t be this close to you!”   
The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back.  
“But I need you to stay!” the Dutch’s words echoed in the hallway, so loud that Daniel was afraid he’d wake up Mats.  
There was a fire burning in Max’s eyes and his hands had formed fists.   
“Will you stay if I kiss you?”   
  
Daniel nearly choked.   
“What?”   
Max stepped a little closer, almost threateningly.   
“Will you stay if I kiss you?” Max repeated, barely audible this time, desperation know noticeable in every fibre of his body.   
  
And then Max’s hands were on each side of Daniel’s face, cupping his jaw while the younger one’s lips crashed onto the Aussie’s.   
The kiss wasn’t gentle, neither was it nice, with Max’s full lips pressed against Dan’s in a desperate attempt. The grip of the Dutch in his neck was too strong to draw back and Daniel felt himself lacking of air. The younger one’s nails had dug into his skin, loosening up when the Australian drew back in shock.   
The words “what the fuck” were ready to float off his tongue, but he didn’t manage to get them out, Max staring right back at him with wide eyes.   
“Fuck, Max,” Dan then breathed, bewildered by the other man’s actions. Where the hell had that come from?   
Max’s lips had parted and his cheeks had flushed, causing Daniel’s gaze to drop. As a result, he took another step back and shook his head.   
“Whatever that was, Max, you…” he actually had no idea what to say, too perplexed, not grasping what was going on. The Dutch’s chest was heaving quickly and he was breathing flat through his mouth. He hadn’t even blinked yet.   
“Max, what the fuck was that?”   
Dan couldn’t choke back a trace of anger and hurt, wondering whether Max had been using the older one’s feelings in his favour.   
Max still didn’t move an inch when he finally answered, “I just really want you to stay.”   
There was guilt in his voice and once again desperation in his eyes.   
Daniel didn’t know what to make out of it.   
“So you decided to kiss me?”  
Max closed his eyes and sat down on the first step of the stairs, hiding away his face in his hands.   
“Partly, yes.”  
The words were mumbled from behind his fingers.   
“And the other part?”   
“The other what?”   
“You said partly, so what’s about the other half?”   
Max lowered his hands and looked at him again.   
“I really wanted to.”   
The Australian scowled impatiently.   
“Make me stay?”   
Max shook his head, eyes not meeting the older one.   
“Kiss you.”   
  
It was so quiet that Daniel could once again hear blood rushing in his ears and his heart beating in his chest, presumably so loud that the younger one could hear it too.   
He blinked.   
Once, twice and then another time, when the mother of all heartbreak’s suddenly revealed her evil twin sister.   
So he stood frozen on his spot, not even daring to breathe.   
It was the ringing of his phone that snapped him out of his trance, reaching for it while his eyes never left Max, sitting on the stairs.   
  
“Nico,” he said before the other person on the end of the line could speak first.   
“Care to explain why you’re not answering my messages when you’ve clearly read them?” the older one asked and there was a suggestive tone to his voice that made the Aussie sculp.   
“I’m-…” he started and caught Max’s gaze, bright and scared, while the Dutch’s words kept on ringing in Dan’s ears, confusing the heck out of him.   
He didn’t miss the silent plea in the younger man’s eyes, nor how his whole body had tensed up.   
“I’m not coming with you.”   
He didn’t listen to what Nico answered to that, just waited until the older hung on.  
  
“Now, I need an explanation, Max,” he hadn’t expected his voice to sound so shaky but he’d lost control of his body the second Max had pressed his lips to his, and it hadn’t improved since.   
“An explanation,” the Dutch echoed.  
Daniel’s heart was beating in his throat.   
“I don’t have one.”   
“Well, then fuck you, Max. Fuck you and this bullshit you’re playing on!”   
Max was up on his feet in a heartbeat.   
“I’m not playing anything! I just don’t know, okay?”   
He turned his volume down almost immediately.   
“I don’t know why I want to kiss you, I just do.”   
Daniel did his best to process the words.   
“You want to kiss me,” he therefore repeated and shook his head.   
Max’s face had flushed in a deep red shade and he appeared lost.   
“You know that I won’t,” Dan therefore stated and Max’s gaze snapped up.  
The Australian felt the need to explain himself, “I’m not going to kiss you just because you need someone to comfort you on the day-… when… fucking hell, you know exactly what I mean, mate!”   
“Dan…”   
“You’ve got my sympathy, Max. But this is not fair.”   
His voice was still shaky and he felt hurt by Max’s request, given that the Dutch should know that Daniel’s feelings were running deeper than just a make up kiss or even a comfort shag.   
“Daniel…”  
“You’ll get everything you want from me, Max. Everything. But this is too much.”  
The Australian literally jumped when he felt the younger one’s hand on his arm and considered shrugging it off but decided against it in the end.   
“It’s not like that, Dan.”  
“Really? Are you sure? Because the last time I checked, you said you _aren’t gay_ and quote _don’t want this_ , unquote.”  
He supported his words with his hands.  
For a millisecond Daniel was embarrassed by the fact that he had memorized the Dutch’s exact words by heart but the feeling vanished quickly when he realized that Max looked like he had been slapped.   
“That’s what I said,” Max eventually admitted and then they fell silent for a while, Max standing right in front of Daniel.  
His hand still on his arm, burning hot when Dan concentrated on the sensation.   
The Australian, usually not much of a cynical person, then could not hold back a sarcastic chuckle.   
“Well, so what made you change your mind?”  
When Max spoke his next words, he looked Dan straight in the eyes, “That would be you.”  
“Me,” Dan repeated the words humourlessly and something flickered in the younger one’s gaze.   
He still wasn’t sure what to make out of the other man’s sentences.   
  
Max opened his mouth, about to say something, but words seemed to fail him.   
Eventually, he took a deep breath.   
“I had time to think, Dan,” he paused, “when I said that I didn’t want this, a-… a relationship with you or whatever, I meant it.”   
“So?”  
“I just… didn’t we…” he paused another time, his bright eyes scanning Daniel’s face quickly.   
“Dan, weren’t we already in a relationship? When you slept in my bed and fed my son, when you bought groceries for the both of us and told me to live healthier? When I made you coffee in the mornings and you cooked for us in the evening? When you spend more time at my apartment than at your own? God, Dan,” Max ran a hand through his hair and shook his head in disbelief, “we shared a _bed_.”  
His eyes were roaming over the Aussie’s face so quickly by now that Dan felt dizzy just from trying to keep up with it.  
“Weren’t we in a relationship when the favourite part of my day was to see you walk out of my bedroom and into the kitchen with that sleepy hair of yours? When my nerves were literally killing me when I offered you to share a bed?”   
A trace of desperation was back in Max’s voice and his hand fell down.   
Daniel felt struck.   
And Max seemed to regain some of his self-confidence, making him step closer and reach for Daniel’s hands.   
Dan couldn’t help how his body betrayed him, interlacing fingers with the Dutch immediately.   
“I said I didn’t want this and I meant it,” his thumb brushed over the inside of the older one’s hand and Daniel shivered, “but that was because I didn’t realize I already _had_ it.”  
He leaned in a little closer, making their chests touch each other.   
“Until I suddenly _didn’t_ , because I was a jerk and didn’t apologize.”  
By now, Daniel was absolutely sure that Max could hear how fast his heart was beating behind his ribs and if he didn’t, he was able to feel it anyway.   
Max’s hand tightened around the Aussie’s.   
“Goddamnit Dan, just say something.”   
Daniel swallowed dry.   
“I’m not going to let you kiss me,” he paused, “because apparently, you’re a shit kisser and have no idea how to do it properly.”   
  
And then he leaned in, overcoming the two centimetres which separated them.   
It was just a peck of lips at first and Max tensed up, but then Daniel managed to capture the younger one’s bottom lip between his own and the Dutch went all soft against him, basically melting into him. The kiss stayed slow and oh-so-soft, their fingers still intertwined, Max’s warm breath hitting Dan’s lips in between the kisses.   
He couldn’t tell when things started to shift but he suddenly found himself pressed against the door to the living room, Max’s leg sliding in between his own while a sound bubbled up his throat and dropped from his lips as a sigh.   
Max then gasped into the Aussie’s mouth, a breathless sound that sent a wave of pleasure through the older one’s body, making him think of it as the fucking hottest sound he had ever heard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can I say...  
> shit's getting real...
> 
> please leave a comment/kudos and thank you SO much for all your incredibly nice words so far. It means the world.
> 
> xx Johanna


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.. ehm... I'll just let you read this

The door was steady and firm in Daniel’s back and pretty much the only thing holding him upright when Max started exploring his mouth with his tongue, his knees almost giving in.  
He was still so startled by the younger one’s actions that he couldn’t do much but cling to the Dutch’s body and swallow up all the pretty noises that escaped Max’s lips.   
He felt the other man’s hands ghosting down his side, eventually curling around his hips, his grip so tight that he might leave bruises. But truth be told, Dan really couldn’t care less, not with the way that Max’s leg was sliding further in between his own, making the Australian gasp.   
He wanted to ask Max if he had done this before with another man, wondering how he was so fucking good at it, but the thought just vanished from his mind when Max did something with his tongue that knocked all oxygen out of the Aussie’s lungs.   
“Wait,” he said, “wait, Max, wait.”   
When their lips parted, their chests still flushed against another, the both of them panting heavily, Daniel felt hypnotised by Max’s eyes, the brightness in them eaten up by his blown pupils, hungry and longing.   
Not able to tear his gaze away from the younger one, he reached behind him to open the door to the living room, stumbling inside.   
Before he had any time to think about what they were doing, the back of his legs hit the couch and he fell, Max’s arms coming to rest around his back before he hit the soft cushions, pushed into them by the Dutch.   
“Dan,” Max breathed, gasping for air, and the Australian expected him to say something else, but the younger one didn’t, just looked down on him, hovering above him, before he placed one knee on each side of the older one and climbed into his lap.   
Dan couldn’t tell if Max was heavier or lighter than he looked, his weight on his thighs was just _right_ , and for a couple of seconds, they just stared at each other, Dan captivated by how red Max’s lips had turned from all the kissing.   
Eventually, the Dutchman leaned forward and his hands cupped Daniel’s jaw.   
When his thumbs ran over the stubble on the Australian’s chin, Max kissed the older one softly.   
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he whispered.  
“Kissing me?”   
Max nodded, almost sheepishly so.   
“Kissing a man.”   
Daniel leaned in and inhaled Max’s scent, running his nose down the younger one’s neck. He smiled against his skin when he felt the other one breaking into shivers.   
“Am I your first?”  
 “Does it matter?”  
“So I _am_.”  
When Max leaned in the next time, Daniel felt his hand on his thigh, fingers teasingly playing with the cord of his swimming shorts.   
“You’re not the first one _yet_ ,” Max said, his lips brushing over the older one’s ear, while he was blushing at the very same time and Dan couldn’t help thinking of it as adorable.   
“You’re not serious. It’s too rushed, Max,” Daniel breathed in between lazy kisses and the younger one leaned his forehead against his.   
Max’s eyes were sparkling, his pupils so wide that they swallowed up most of his iris.   
“Are you trying to tell me you’re not easy?”   
Dan stroked the Dutchman’s back, his fingers sliding under his shirt, tracing his skin.   
“I’m saying it’s too early.”   
His fingers followed the curve of Max’s spine and the younger one arched his back, his pelvis moving against Daniel’s crotch.  
“You’re prude,” Max commented and when he rolled his hips against Dan’s once again, the Australian smirked.   
“And you’re horny.”   
That made the two of them grin, mischief glistering in Max’s dark eyes.   
Daniel let out a hiss when the other man leaned forward and started sucking on a spot below his jaw, his tongue dipping out once and again to lick wet stripes across his skin.   
He couldn’t hold back a moan when he felt Max moving against him another time.   
“Come on, Dan. We have basically been dating for weeks. Still too early for you?”   
He caught Daniel’s bottom lip with his teeth and gave it a gentle bite.   
The Aussie’s eyes fluttered shut and despite fighting against it, his hips searched for contact.   
“Have you even done this before?”   
“Sometime’s always the first,” Max slurred and didn’t bother to stop nibbling on the skin of Daniel’s throat.   
“I can’t-… I can’t believe how exited you are about this.”   
“I’ve been told I’m an impatient person.”   
Dan cared to open his eyes, his gaze wandering down to Max’s groin.   
“I can see that.”  
The Dutch had at least the decency to blush.   
“You have no idea how this works,” Dan said with a sigh and Max rolled his eyes.   
“I’ve watched gay porn.”   
Daniel laughed, bringing up a finger to brush it over Max’s lips that had curled up in a stubborn, confident-of-victory smile.   
“So you’ve watched gay porn,” Daniel repeated, shaking his head with a grin, “enjoyed it?”   
Max smirked.   
“I suspect you’ve thought about how we would – hypothetically speaking – do that,” Dan said and grinned, amused when Max seemed to be flustered by the question.   
“Hypothetically speaking…” he cleared his throat and avoided the Aussie’s gaze, “I want you to…”  
He coughed once again and Daniel chuckled.   
The Australian leaned in, deciding to have some fun with teasing the younger one.   
His lips were brushing against Max’s ear and the Dutch tilted his head with a broken moan.   
“You want me to fuck you?” Daniel asked, almost innocently in his tone, whispering into Max’s ear while he had a hard time suppressing his laughter.   
Max made that noise again, a needy and impatient moan that went straight to the older one’s groin.   
“It’s kinda hard imagining you being submissive to anyone.”   
“Who says I’ll be submissive to you?” Max panted, moving his hips again.   
“You’ll fall apart in my arms,” Dan whispered amusedly and kissed the younger one.   
“Do you always talk that much when you try to get into someone’s pants?”   
Daniel chuckled, “Only when I really like them.”  
Their eyes met and Max eventually drew in his bottom lip, climbing off Daniel’s lap and extended a hand.   
The older one took it and let himself be guided out of the room and up the stairs.   
“We should take one of the spare bedrooms.”   
Max agreed and pushed open the door, carefully closing it behind them.   
Then he seemed to remember something.   
“Wait a minute,” he said and slipped out of the room, coming back just a few seconds later with a package of condoms and lube in his hand.   
Daniel took it from him and placed it on the bedside table.   
They stood in front of each other in silence for a few moments and while Max didn’t let anything show, Daniel was well aware that the younger one was probably dying of nervousness on the inside.   
He himself could still remember his first time with another man too vividly and how tense he had been all the time.   
“I’ll make this good for you,” he therefore whispered.   
He decided to make the first step, yanking off the long-sleeved surf shirt he wore, catching Max’s eyes roaming over his body.   
As he didn’t wear anything beneath his swimming trunks, he left them on for then.   
“Now you.”   
He saw some of the tension in Max’s eyes when he spoke these words and stepped in.   
“Should I…?” he asked and the Dutch nodded, big eyes still wandering over Daniel’s naked chest.   
So he closed his fingers around the hemline of Max’s shirt and pulled it up, slowly revealing more and more of bare skin, several shades brighter than Daniel’s.   
Goose bumps started spreading on the younger one’s skin where Dan touched him and he could see that Max was holding his breath.   
The blond was just as toned as Dan had thought he’d be, his muscles visible due to the tension that was holding Max upright.   
He pulled the other man down on the bed with him and he spread his legs for Max to settle between them.   
The other one held himself up on his elbows, their stomachs barely touching. Despite it all, Max was breathing heavily.   
“Been a while, huh?” Dan said to ease the mood and it made Max smile.   
“Indeed.”   
“Let me give it a wild guess and say about 2 years and 9 months?”   
Max cracked a smile, “Certainly feels like it.”   
“Well,” Dan smirked and placed a hand in the younger one’s neck, pulling him down and into a kiss, “I’ll make it worth the wait.”   
  
And then he kissed Max and Max kissed him, once, twice, countless times, while their hands were exploring each other’s chest, the younger one’s fingers tracing each inch of Daniel’s stomach as if he had never seen a naked guy before.   
When Dan told him that, Max shot back a _shut up_ and Daniel hadn’t really had another chance when the Dutch’s lips closed around his nipple.   
“Max,” Dan eventually breathed, when the younger one had started licking wet stripes all the way down to the waistband of his shorts, “Max, we either start this right now or I’m going to come from all your teasing.”   
Max smirked, lowering himself so his stomach was rubbing against the erection in Daniel’s pants.   
“So it’s been a while for you, too.”   
“Max…” Dan growled and the younger one sat up, still smirking, while reaching for the pack of condoms.   
Dan’s back arched off the bed when Max’s hand slipped into his shorts with another confident grin, curling around his cock without any kind of hesitation.   
“Max,” he breathed and grabbed the sheets to get some hold, “fuck, Max.”   
Without him noticing, the younger man had undressed him of his shorts and when Max looked up at him, sweat glistering in his lashes and reflecting the soft light of the bedside lamp, giving the leaking tip of Daniel’s cock a quick lick, the Australian almost came then and there.   
“I’ll have to prepare you,” Dan gasped, his limps feeling boneless.   
“Want me on all fours?” Max asked and Daniel nearly choked.   
He should have known that Max was brisk in all aspects of life.   
He wasn’t able to do much more but nod but regained his breath once Max had let go of him, kneeling down on all fours, getting rid of his own shorts.  
Daniel let his hands wander over Max’s back, massaging him to make him relax, giving his ass a gentle squeeze before he eventually pushed a finger into the other man.   
He made sure to give Max enough time to adjust to the foreign feeling, before he lubed up his hand and added a second finger, slowly starting to move it in the younger one.   
Max let out a groan at that, a mixture of pleasure and pain, his hard cock pressing against the mattress. Dan could see him trying to get some friction by rubbing against the soft fabric but he held Max’s hips in place with his spare hand.   
When Daniel added a third finger, Max started to whimper, whispering the Aussie’s name again and again. The older one therefore had to force himself not to just jerk off right then.   
“Daniel…” Max’s voice broke away and he buried his face in the pillows, pushing his ass back against Dan’s hand.  
“Come on, Dan…”   
And Daniel obliged, ripping open the condom with his teeth, putting it on after giving his cock a lazy stroke.   
He was completely taken by surprise when Max suddenly moved, pushing him on his back while straddling his hips.   
“What are you doing?” Dan panted, looking up at the younger one.   
“I never said I’d be submissive, did I?” Max asked, one hand curled around his hard cock, while he reached around himself to take hold of Daniel’s as well.   
When the Aussie realized what Max had in mind, he couldn’t help but moan, watching how Max slowly sank down on his cock.   
A wave of heat shot through the older one and his hips snapped up, burying himself deep in the younger one while Max changed the angle a little.   
Dan fucked into the younger another time before Max started to move, holding Daniel down with his hands while he rode him, his head thrown back in pleasure, exposing his throat.   
Dan felt like all oxygen was pressed out of his lungs each time that Max moved, making Daniel’s cock slide in deeper.   
He watched how the younger one started stroking himself, his fist moving up and down quickly, while Dan took the chance to let his hips snap up again, thrusting deep into Max while Max moved down on him, so incredibly tight that Dan didn’t see anything but little dots of lights for a moment.   
Max started rolling his hips faster, matching Daniel’s thrusts, whimpering and moaning in between panting breaths.   
The Australian felt Max’s orgasm before he heard it, his walls clenching around his cock, pushing himself over the edge as well.   
He moved his hips another time, deeper than before, while he felt Max’s warm cum hitting his stomach, the Dutch collapsing on top of him while Daniel came into him, breathing heavily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeere we are...   
> I got a bit carried away writing this and I apologize but I felt too lazy to rewrite this chapter at this point.   
> I also can't believe there is only one chapter coming up!
> 
> Also: some of you have already found me on twitter anyway, so in case you're interested, my @ is @wecouldbesea :)  
> www.twitter.com/wecouldbesea (probably not the best idea to share my account with the world right after posting literal porn but who cares anyway)
> 
> I'm thinking of uploading the first chapter of the christmas-y Maxiel fic I wrote last year tomorrow, what do you think?  
> (I'm warning you in advance, that fic is a huuuge mess!)
> 
> On another note; I started a go fund me to (maybe) make my dad's wish of going to New York a little bit easier, and it would mean a lot if you'd just give it a look. Thanks!   
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/get-dad-to-new-york?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet


	19. Chapter 19

 

“Wow,” Max said, several minutes later, when the two of them had caught their breaths and the Australian had wrapped his arms around Max’s back, their legs tangled up.   
The young Dutch was lying half on top of him, pushing himself up on his lower arm to look at the Aussie’s face.  
There was a dopey smile on Max’s lips.   
Daniel beamed back at him, completely exhausted but equally happy.   
When Dan found Max searching his face without saying anything, he brushed a sweaty strand of hair out of the other one’s forehead and frowned at him.   
“What?”   
Max shrugged his shoulders and plumped down next to Daniel, throwing an arm over the older one’s waist so that they were both facing the ceiling, Max’s cheek pressed against the Australian’s shoulder.   
“I never thought I’d want his,” he eventually answered, his fingers casually tabbing against Dan’s flat stomach.   
“And here we are…” Daniel replied, smiling into the emptiness of the room.   
“Here we are,” Max repeated, softer.   
“And is it what you want?” the Aussie asked after another few second, enjoying the feeling of having Max this close, of feeling his warm skin against his and being able to hold him.   
Max turned his head and looked at him, placing a tender kiss on Daniel’s naked shoulder.   
He half expected Max to back out of his questions, change the topic like so often before when he had asked him something really personal, but apparently the orgasm and the afterglow had loosened up his tongue.   
“I’d be damned if it wasn’t.”   
They kept their mouths sealed, existing in the moment.   
“What is this that we have, Dan?”   
Daniel was surprised to hear that question from the younger one, as he had rather thought it would be his turn to ask about that.   
He didn’t face him but kept his gaze fixed on a point at the ceiling.   
“What do you want it to be?”   
He heard Max shifting next to him, draping a blanket over them before he answered.   
“I never had a relationship. I never thought I’d want one,” he started, “and with Mats, it didn’t seem like anything that would happen any time soon.”  
“Dating is not as bad as you might think it is,” Daniel commented, smiling fondly.   
“I guess it’s not.”   
“You’ll have to let me sleep in your bed.”   
“I’ll live with that.”   
“And make me coffee in the mornings.”   
“I can do that.”   
Daniel shifted to lie on his side.   
“And no more Red Bulls.”   
  


Max looked at him, his cheeks of a beautiful pink.   
“Won’t need them anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it... the final words of this story that means so much to me.   
> Thank you to everyone that has commented, left kudos, supported me throughout this..   
> I never would have been able to imagine this!
> 
> All the love,  
> Johanna

**Author's Note:**

> If you've liked this chapter, please leave a comment or kudos :)


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